January invites leaders to ask a similar question, not just where we’re going, but how we choose to cross into what’s next.

Standing at the Doorway
January is named for Janus, the ancient Roman god often depicted with two faces:  One looking backward, the other forward.  Janus did not preside over a single domain or outcome.  He governed thresholds: Beginnings and endings, past and future, here and there. In short, doorways.
 
The Romans understood something many modern leaders forget:  How you cross from one season to another matters.
 
Leadership, after all, is rarely about standing comfortably in certainty.  It’s far more often about guiding people through the in-between—when what was no longer fits, and what’s next isn’t fully clear.
 
Janus reminds us that the most effective leadership requires both memory and imagination.

A Lesson from the Driver's Seat
When we drive, we don’t fixate on the horizon miles away or at the address to which we're headed on our GPS.  Nor do we stare endlessly into the rearview mirror.  We'd crash if we did.  We focus primarily on what’s right in front of us and alongside us, occasionally glancing back to learn, adjust, and stay oriented.
 
Leaders who spend too much time looking backward risk nostalgia, paralysis, and possibly a crash, of sorts.

Leaders who stare too far ahead for too long risk abstraction and loosing people with disconnection.
 
Effective leadership happens in the present moment, informed by the past and guided by the future—but grounded in the now.
 
Janus would make a terrible driver if he tried to use both faces at once.  His wisdom isn’t about simultaneity, it’s about balance.

Meaning Looks Back.  Purpose  Looks Forward
This is where meaning and purpose enter the conversation.
 
Meaning is drawn from the past.  
It’s shaped by experiences, values, relationships, and moments when something mattered deeply.
 
Purpose grows out of that meaning, but it lives in the present and points toward the future. Purpose answers the question:  Given what has mattered, how will I choose to lead now?
 
The doorway—the Janus space—is where meaning becomes purpose.
 
And leaders who skip that space often struggle to inspire others.

A Personal Threshold
The first time I intentionally led a team through meaning and purpose work was in 1994, in the Texas Hill Country.  I had recently been elected the first and founding president of the Southwest Texas Critical Incident Stress Management Team—a group of volunteers serving first responders across the San Antonio area.
 
No one was paid.  Incentives were nonexistent.  What was present was a shared desire to help others in moments of profound suffering and trauma.
 
I knew that if this team was going to work, we needed something deeper than good intentions.  So, I worked with them to schedule a two-day retreat at the Omega Retreat Center in Boerne, Texas.  Together—fire personnel, EMTs, psychotherapists, and volunteers who barely knew one another—we slowed down.  We listened.  We discovered who we were and what we stood for.
 
Out of that space emerged a shared team mission, vision, and values.
 
Years later, when I left the region, the team presented me with a piece of etched glass bearing that mission—words that still remind me that meaning, once named, has staying power.
 
That experience shaped the work I’ve done ever since.

Why This Matters Now
Today’s leaders are navigating constant change, fatigue, and pressure to “move fast.”  But speed without meaning leads to burnout.  Vision without reflection leads to drift.
 
The most effective leaders I work with—from the frontline to C-suite—know when to pause at the doorway.  They know how to help their teams: 

• Learn from the past without living in it 
  
• Plan for the future without escaping into it 
  
• Lead fully in the present with clarity and purpose 

This is the work of purpose-driven leadership. 

And it’s the work I love partnering with leaders to do.
 
If January has you standing between what was and what’s next, you’re exactly where Janus would want you:  At the threshold.
 
The question is not whether you’ll move forward.

It’s how you’ll lead others through the doorway.

Last week in a workshop, a senior leader paused mid-exercise, looked up at me, and said:

“Alan… I don’t think I’ve ever stopped long enough to ask who I really am or why I’m here.”

That moment hung in the air.  Everyone felt it.

It reminded me how easy it is for leaders, even the most capable, experienced ones, to drift.  Not because they’re careless.  But because the world keeps turning, the inbox keeps filling, and expectations never stop growing.

And yet… here you are.
Still showing up.
Still striving.
Still leading.

Even when you’re tired.
Even when the path isn’t clear.
Even when the demands feel bigger than your capacity.

You are still here.

But presence and purpose are not the same thing.
Many leaders “arrive” each day, but far fewer do so aware, centered, and aligned with who they are and why they do this work.

And that’s the real invitation of leadership—the inside-out work.

Why These Questions Matter
We grew up being asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

But almost no one ever asked:
  Who do you want to be?
  What kind of impact do you want your life to have?
  Why were you put on this earth?

These questions may feel uncomfortable or even indulgent, but they are not.  They are deeply practical leadership questions.

Because when you know your Who and your Why:

• Decision-making becomes clearer
• Priorities align
• Courage grows
• Confidence rockets
• Communication sharpens
• Relationships deepen
• And your leadership resonates with authenticity instead of effort

In a noisy world, clarity is a competitive advantage.  In a turbulent world, purpose is stability.  In a demanding world, alignment is energy.

When You Lose Your Why, You Lose Your Way
Picture a pilot drifting a degree off course.  At first, nothing looks wrong.  But over hundreds of miles, the miss becomes massive.

The same is true for leaders.

Every time you say “yes” too quickly…
Every time you silence your instincts…
Every time you prioritize being busy over being intentional…
The drift grows.

Not because you’re weak, but because you’re human.

The good news?
You can always recenter.
Purpose is renewable.

Start With This
If you pause—truly pause—and ask yourself:

…what rises to the surface?

Here are three prompts to help you start:

1. When am I most alive, energized, or at my best?
   
2. What impact do I hope others would say I made with my life?
3. What values or beliefs feel non-negotiable for me as a leader?

Even five honest minutes with these questions can shift something in you.

No one’s going to force you to ask those tough questions of yourself and answering them takes time and can be uncomfortable.  So, many people choose not to.  To become an exemplary or great leader, however, it is an imperative.  As Drew Dudley wrote in This is Day One:

If You Want Help Doing This Work 
This is the heart of purpose-driven leadership.  It’s why I’ve dedicated my career to this work.

If you’re ready to explore your Who and your Why, or if you feel like you’ve drifted off your intended path, I’d love to support you.  I'm passionate about guiding leaders on that journey, like the senior leader mentioned above.  Sometimes all you need is a guide and a conversation.  

• The Purpose-Driven Leadership Program
  
• One-on-One Coaching
  
• The Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI360)
  
• No-cost Discovery Conversation
  

Whether you’re crystal clear or feeling lost, remember this:
The world needs what only you can bring.
And you’re still here—which means your purpose is too.

It’s spooky season—that time of year when everything from the neighbor’s yard to our inboxes is full of ghosts, ghouls, and people trying to scare us into buying pumpkin spice candles.

But the scariest thing for leaders?
Not monsters.  Not markets.  It’s losing their way.

Because truly effective and impactful leadership—the kind that endures—demands something far rarer than brains or talent.  It takes grit:  That magical blend of passion and perseverance that keeps us moving toward a purpose even when the fog rolls in, the lights flicker, and every shortcut looks tempting.

Psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as the “passion for long-term goals, like loving something and staying in love with it” married with perseverance to long term goals. 

That’s not just poetic, it’s profoundly practical.  Purpose-driven leaders understand this at a deep, soul level.  They’ve found their North Star, and even when the night gets dark, they don’t stop walking.

The Dark Swamp of Despair (and Other Fun Leadership Landmarks)
Duckworth describes what every achiever faces sooner or later: “the dark swamp of despair.”  It’s that place where enthusiasm fades, results lag, and your brilliant initiative starts to look like Frankenstein’s monster, stitched together and stumbling forward mostly out of stubbornness.

Sound familiar?

That’s where grit shows up.

It’s what keeps you practicing, refining, and showing up again when the world says, “Maybe it’s time to move on.”

But here’s the twist:  Grit doesn’t exist in a vacuum.  It feeds on purpose.  Without a sense of “why,” perseverance turns into mere endurance.  And endurance without meaning burns leaders out faster than a jack-o’-lantern left in the Texas sun.

Purpose Is the Fuel; Grit is the Engine
Purpose-driven leadership gives grit its direction.  It transforms hard days into meaningful days and obstacles into opportunities to live out our values.

When leaders reconnect with purpose—whether it’s developing others, serving a community, or shaping a vision larger than themselves—they find the motivation to get back up, again and again.

And when teams see their leader moving forward with conviction and heart, it spreads. Purpose-driven grit is contagious. It’s what turns a group of individuals into a unified force capable of remarkable things — and keeps them inspired long after the novelty wears off.

Your North Star is Still There
So this month, as the nights get longer and the calendar gets busier, take a quiet moment to look up.  Remind yourself why you started.  Name your North Star.  Then, no matter how many ghosts of doubt or goblins of distraction come knocking — keep going.

Because leadership isn’t about never getting lost.  It’s about remembering what you’re walking toward.

Celebrating the end of 64—and the beginning of 65
On September 30, I celebrate what most people call my 64th birthday.  Friends will wish me a happy one, my family will sing to me, and I’ll likely enjoy some cake.  But recently, while watching a video (below) featuring Dot Fisher-Smith, a 96-year-old artist and activist, I realized something powerful:  I’m not just celebrating my 64th birthday, I’m marking the completion of my 64th year and the beginning of my 65th.

Think about it:  When a baby turns "one year old," it's the completion of that first year of life.  But, it's also the beginning of the second year.  Maybe I'm just really  slow, but maybe you haven't quite thought of it this way either.

It’s a subtle shift in perspective, but it really struck me.

This tiny reframing—birthday as “completion day” rather than simply “age marker”—stopped me in my tracks.  I felt both a sense of awe and a deeper appreciation for the years I’ve lived and the possibilities that lie ahead.  And it reminded me:  So much of leadership, growth, and life itself is about perception shifts.

The Power of Perception Shifts
Throughout my life, I’ve experienced dozens of shifts in perception.  Some were sudden and life-altering, like divorce, career changes, or becoming a father again.  Others were gradual, born of research, reflection, or conversations that nudged me to see the world differently.  Still others came through feedback and the sometimes uncomfortable mirror others hold up for us.

These shifts reshaped how I viewed myself, others, beliefs and belief systems, and what was possible.  They were invitations to grow.

Leaders experience this too.  Consider the executive who, after years of doing most of the talking in meetings, suddenly recognizes the power of listening.  Or the manager who, after receiving candid feedback, realizes their “helpfulness” sometimes undermines the autonomy of their team.  Or the professional who sees that the very strength that helped them succeed early in their career is now the barrier to their next level of effectiveness.

In each case, nothing in the external world changed overnight, but their perception did.  And with that shift, behavior and results followed.

Seeking Awe in the Ordinary
Dot and the video’s narrator both speak about “awe” and that's something that really resonates deeply with me.  Awe and wonder are bundled together as one of my core values.  

Awe is that complexity of feelings such as admiration, amazement, astonishment, awakening, bewilderment, feeling small or insignificant, lost in thought, meditative and/or contemplative, or reverence—sometimes all at once—often triggered by the vast and the mysterious.

Wonder is a consequence of awe—when you’re trying to figure out what produced the awe.  It adds a a state of curiosity and a desire to understand.

What’s fascinating is that awe often arises not from extraordinary events, but from ordinary ones seen in a new way, like a birthday.  Think of a sunrise you’ve seen countless times, until one day you pause long enough to notice its colors and textures, and you feel a surge of awe and wonder.  Or the moment you look at a familiar relationship differently and recognize the gift it truly is.

In leadership, awe can come when you realize your influence has rippled farther than you imagined, or when you witness someone you’ve coached achieve a breakthrough.  Sometimes, it arrives when you see your own journey differently, like reframing a birthday as the completion of a year rather than simply the start of another.

Awe, in other words, can be born of perception shifts.

Leading with Perception Shifts
Leaders who actively pursue new information, feedback, and developmental opportunities, position themselves for these kinds of breakthroughs.  They invite shifts in perspective rather than resisting them.  

• Feedback becomes less about criticism and more about clarity.
• Development is not remedial but catalytic.
• Curiosity becomes a superpower, opening doors to perspectives they didn’t know existed.

And when leaders model perception shifts openly, their teams are encouraged to do the same.  Cultures of learning, adaptability, and resilience often grow from leaders willing to say, “I used to see it this way... and now I see it differently.”

The Gift of 65
So, on my birthday, I’ll celebrate more than just 64 candles.  I’ll celebrate the awe that comes from completing another trip around the sun.  I’ll celebrate the perception shifts that got me here.  And I’ll celebrate the invitation to lean into the 65th year of life with wonder, curiosity, and a healthy sense of humor about the whole thing.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in six and a half decades, it’s this:  Life doesn’t stop shifting our perceptions.  And life and leadership doesn’t stop asking us to grow.

Here’s to awe, wonder, and the courage to keep seeing differently.

Watch the video that shifted my perception, 96 Years of WISDOM: The 3 Lessons That Will Make You Feel Awe, here:

Let’s talk about trees.

They’re strong. Tall. Reaching. Majestic. Often symbolic of stability, growth, and legacy. Leaders and leadership teams often want to be like trees—visible, fruitful, and unwavering through the seasons.

But here’s the truth: No tree grows without roots.

And no team thrives without tending to the invisible forces that feed and stabilize it.

That’s where Queen Quet’s wisdom hits home: “You must take care of the root to heal the tree.”

It’s elegant. It’s ancient. And for today’s leaders? It’s urgent.

The  Tree is the Leadership Team
You may be the CEO, the department head, or part of the senior leadership team steering the ship. In this metaphor, you and your peers are the tree. Visible to the organization. Responsible for bearing fruit, providing shelter, and enduring storms.

But if that leadership team is splintered, unclear, or transactional—even if it "looks fine" from the outside—the rot begins below. People feel it before they can name it. Performance suffers. Culture turns brittle. Turnover creeps in. Disengagement festers.

Healing and growth won’t come from pruning branches or repainting bark. It starts at the root.

So, what lives in the roots of a strong, healthy leadership team?

The Anatomy of the Root System
1. Shared Purpose
This is the taproot. Without clarity of why you exist as a team and organization there’s no direction, no cohesion, and certainly no inspiration. And that's not hitting metrics, protecting turf, or profits.  Like Simon Sinek says, "Profit isn’t a purpose, it’s a result. Purpose is the reason we do the thing that makes the profit."  Purpose fuels every other root.

2. Service-Oriented Leadership
The best leaders don’t hoard the sunlight—they become part of the ecosystem. They serve the mission, their people, and each other. When ego eclipses service, rot sets in fast.

3. Gratitude & Recognition
Gratitude isn’t fluff; it’s fertilizer. Teams that consistently recognize one another create psychological nutrients: safety, respect, and resilience. Practicing gratitude is directly tied to happiness and wellbeing.  And yes, this starts at the top.

4. Trust & Psychological Safety
Let’s not kid ourselves. If people around the table aren’t speaking up, pushing back, or showing vulnerability, you’re leading in shallow soil. Safety is silent strength. Trust is the root that lets others grow.

5. Real Relationships
You don’t have to be best friends, but if your relationships are purely transactional, the roots won’t hold. Invest time in knowing each other as humans, not just titles. Roots entangle. That’s what makes them strong. Strong relationships at work boost engagement and all that comes with that.

6. Self-Awareness & Reflection
Leaders who never look in the mirror are the first to point fingers. Healthy teams include people committed to growth—not just professionally, but personally. When leaders reflect, teams renew. True self-awareness doesn't blossom without feedback.  Research demonstrates that those leaders who seek the most feedback are also the most effective leaders.

7. Integrity & Accountability
Alignment between word and deed is a non-negotiable.  When leaders say one thing and do another, they poison the root system.  Like Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner wrote and say, "Before you can walk the talk, you have to clearly know what the talk is."  Get clear on who you are as a a leader, your core values, and the principles you believe in.  Accountability isn’t punitive—it’s a form of nourishment. It's how we learn and grow.

8. A Learning Culture
The best trees are still growing—and it's the same with leadership teams. When curiosity dies, so does innovation. Learning must be baked into your culture, not on the eternal "next fiscal year" cycle. The best leadership teams always have an eye and ear for developing others.

9. Values in Action
You’ve got values? Great. Are they laminated on a wall or lived in the hall? When values show up in behavior, not just branding, the root system deepens and spreads. And let me open your eyes, strong research demonstrated years ago that it's personal core values, not organizational values, that drive things like organizational commitment, performance, satisfaction, and retention. If you want to learn how to help team members identify their personal core values, give me a shout. I've got a fantastic system in my Purpose-Driven Leadership Program.

10. Inclusivity & Diverse Perspectives
Monoculture is fragile. Root systems that are diverse, inclusive, and open to new perspectives are exponentially more adaptive and resilient.

Roots Are Messy.  So Is Leadership
Here’s the hard truth: You don’t get to grow towering, flourishing leadership teams without digging in the dirt. And roots don’t fix themselves.

If your team is burned out, cynical, or more focused on status than service, it’s time to stop patching the leaves and look below the surface. Maybe it's time for real, brave conversations. Maybe it’s time for alignment work, deeper development, or honest reflection about what you're actually cultivating together.

Because you are cultivating something. Whether it’s trust or fear, collaboration or competition, purpose or politics—the soil doesn’t lie. And sooner or later, the fruit (or the lack of it) will reveal the truth.

The good news? Root systems are incredibly resilient when cared for. And when they’re healthy, the whole forest thrives.

So, pause. Dig deep. Ask yourself and your team: What kind of roots are we growing?

Until next time, take care of the root... and watch the whole tree come alive.

In January 2009, I stood holding a plaque I hadn’t expected to receive: the “You Make the Difference Superstar Award” for outstanding service to the Texas Gulf Coast Business Unit at Quest Diagnostics.  At the time, I was a Training Specialist, focused on systems, curriculum, and delivery.  I wasn’t thinking about leadership development. Coaching was not on my radar.  Organizational development?  I didn't even know what that was.

But my boss, Barbara Nance, saw something I didn’t.

A couple of years before, I had successfully designed and launched a major training plan for Patient Services and she didn’t just thank me—she invited me into deeper waters.  Bigger projects.  More strategic roles.  She asked me to develop a frontline leadership development program.  And then she asked if I would be open to coaching a couple of frontline leaders. 

Now, let's be clear.  She 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥 if I would do these things.  I didn't have to.  They were well beyond the role and job description I held.  But like Maslow points out in our opening quote, I had two options.  I chose growth.  Barbara didn’t just delegate work; she invested in belief. 

And that belief changed everything.

What began as a successful training specialist role transformed into a calling.  I began to realize the power of supporting leaders directly—helping them develop their confidence, competence, and clarity.  I discovered my own purpose in helping others discover theirs.

Those early moments in developing leadership development curriculum and coaching set the trajectory for where I am now, partnering with leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world.  It took a leader with insight into my potential, trust in my beliefs and abilities, and a desire to further build up and serve her team.  It took me having a growth mindset.

It became my turn to be that spark for others.

Since those days at Quest Diagnostics, I went on to serve as a Senior Organizational Development Specialist for one of the largest faith-based, nonprofit healthcare systems in the US, further developing my knowledge, skills, and experience—and influence.  And while I've tried to lean into being semi-retired, hanging up my own shingle and opening my private practice gives me the opportunity to continue to be that spark by serving leaders and their teams.

I’ve been honored to work with leaders across industries—from the frontline to the C-suite—helping them grow not just their skills, but their mindset, energy, and impact.  I’ve seen what happens when someone believes in a leader who’s lost their spark.  I've watched accidental leaders thrust into their first leadership roles without the necessary skills, training, or preparation come out on the other side with confidence, competence, and effectiveness.  I’ve seen the transformation that can happen when leaders leverage purpose-driven leadership within their leadership and with their team.  I bear witness in awe and wonder when the right kind of support shows up at the right moment. 

Maybe you're a leader who's feeling stuck, stretched too thin, or uncertain about the road ahead. Or maybe you’re responsible for a team that’s struggling with engagement, impact, or alignment.  You know there’s potential—but it’s buried under the weight of daily pressures.

That’s where coaching and leadership development come in—not as quick fixes, but as catalysts for sustainable change.

Sometimes, all it takes is a conversation.  A question that shifts perspective.  A framework that unlocks clarity.  A coach who believes in you until you believe in yourself again.

 Great leaders don’t have all the answers—but they ask better questions. 

One of the best is:  “What kind of leader does my team need me to be right now?”

If that’s a hard question to answer—you’re not alone.  That’s where the work begins.

Leadership begins long before strategic plans are drawn or decisions are made.  It begins in a place far less obvious, deep inside the wiring of our brains.

As leaders, we often assume our decisions are made through careful, deliberate thought.  Yet, neuroscience paints a different, and humbling, picture.  Research shows that 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 1–2% of our brain activity is conscious.  The other 98–99% runs automatically—𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.  A full 95% 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 are automatic and unconscious!  This shapes everything from what we notice, to what we believe, to how we lead.

Nikolas Dimitriadis and Alexandros Psychogios put it bluntly in their book, 𝘕𝘦𝘶𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴: 𝘈 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯-𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩 (emphasis added):

In leadership, that reality has enormous consequences.

The Silent Force Driving Decisions
Imagine trying to lead a team while piloting an aircraft you can only control 1-2 % of the time.  That's leadership without self-awareness.

The brain evolved first for survival, not thoughtful decision-making.  It prioritizes speed and efficiency over complex reflection.  While this was perfect for escaping predators, today it often leads to leaders reacting out of habit rather than responding thoughtfully to challenges.

Consider this:

• The conscious brain processes about 40–2,000 bits of information per second.
• The automatic (unconscious) brain processes up to 𝟮𝟬 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 and does it 500,000 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 !

In short, the autopilot is not just on—it’s dominant.

Here's a short story or fable that illustrates just how powerful unconscious beliefs, excuses, and assumptions can be.

Leaders are no different.
Many of the habits, assumptions, and limitations shaping our leadership today were formed years, sometimes decades ago.  Left unexamined, these invisible 'ropes' quietly determine how we approach decisions, risks, relationships, feedback, innovation, and growth.

The real tragedy?  The elephant’s limitations are no longer real.  Neither are many of ours.

Three Way Leaders Can Reclaim the Brain
Awareness is not a luxury in leadership — it’s a necessity.  Here are three powerful ways to start taking back the reins from autopilot:

1. Slow Down the Moment
Before reacting, especially under stress, pause.  A single deep breath can create the space to move from reflexive reaction to conscious choice. 

A gap exists between all stimuli and all responses.  Expand that gap by giving yourself space to choose.  Take a short timeout, take that deep breath, and ask yourself, "What's my purpose in this moment?"  True authentic leadership is expressed one decision at a time. 

Sometimes, there is only enough time for a deep breath.  Other times that 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 be different—so take advantage of that to elevate your leadership.  When appropriate, you can even excuse yourself for a timeout and reset any automatic self-defeating thoughts, assumptions, excuses, or beliefs.  This greatly increases the chances of responding more authentically and effectively and with greater clarity of meaning and purpose.

2. Question the Old Ropes
Ask yourself: "Is this belief serving me today?"  Many leadership habits were once survival strategies.  Today, they may be outdated.  Courageously challenge assumptions that limit your effectiveness or authenticity. 

Wayne Dyer used to say that when confronting excuses or old beliefs and assumptions to ask yourself, "Is this 100% true?"  Of course, no excuse, belief, or assumption is.  Not necessarily being true is what makes it an excuse, belief, or assumption.  So if it could be true or not true, ask yourself, "What's the opposite of this excuse, belief, or assumption?"  Which of those two thoughts will best serve you?  Which will help you to get you closer to  your goal or objective?

For example, Brian is facing giving one of his direct reports, Jeremy, some needed critical feedback.  He thinks that Jeremy is going to be resistant, negative, and closed-off.  As he prepares for this conversation, he asks himself, "What's the opposite of these assumptions?"  That Jeremy is not resistant, negative, or closed-off.  And even if he's somewhat of any of those, maybe he has some good reasons for that.

Now which set of assumptions sets Brian up for a more effective, authentic, and successful conversation?  Which set of assumptions would Jeremy respond best to?  There's no guarantee, but at least he's in a much better mindset with the latter as he prepares for and engages in that conversation.  He might start by being more curious and asking questions rather than jumping right into the critical feedback.

3. Train the Brain
Awareness is like a muscle — it strengthens with use.  Simple practices like daily reflection, mindful pauses, or journaling about decisions can rewire the brain toward greater conscious leadership over time.

One of the quickest and most powerful strategies I've discovered is the Book-end Your Day ritual.  In the morning, review your Life Mission/Leadership Philosophy statement—even if it's just one or two elements of it, like a particular core value or leadership principle.  Ask yourself, "How am I going to show up with that and live that today?"  It only takes a few moments—and it's free.

Then right before you go to bed, review it again.  This time ask yourself, "What are three times I lived my Life Mission/Leadership Philosophy well today?  What's one time I didn't and what can I learn from that?"  I know leaders who journal this so they can go back at some point in the future to reflect and relearn some old lessons.

Your Leadership Journey Starts Here
If leadership is at its heart a thinking act, then thinking about your thinking—metacognition—is leadership at its finest.  This month, I encourage you to notice where your own autopilot kicks in.  Challenge an old rope.  Choose a new response.

Each small act of awareness is a giant step towards the leader you’re meant to be.

If you’re a leader who dreams of a smooth, problem-free path to success, I have some news for you: That’s not leadership—that’s retirement.  And even then, I hear golf scores can be a real problem.
 
The reality?  Success isn’t found in avoiding problems. It’s forged in facing them head-on.  M. Scott Peck, MD, put it perfectly:  "Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and wisdom."  If that’s the case, then congratulations!  Every issue you’re dealing with right now is a leadership gym, building the mental and emotional muscles you need to thrive.
 
The Myth of the Easy Path
Too often, leaders fall into the trap of thinking that if they just work hard enough, plan well enough, or hire the right people, the problems will disappear.  But leadership isn’t about eliminating problems—it’s about getting better at solving them.  Rather than wishing for fewer problems; the best leaders level up their ability to tackle them.
 
Think of the leaders you admire.  Are they the ones who had everything handed to them?  Or are they the ones who faced challenges, pivoted when necessary, and turned obstacles into stepping stones?  The difference between mediocre leadership and great leadership isn’t the absence of difficulties—it’s the attitude toward them.
 
Problems Are the Curriculum of Leadership
Students and teachers in Texas, my wife and boys included, are gearing up for the annual STAAR test.  Imagine a school where students never had to solve a single problem.  No math equations, no science experiments, no history essays to analyze.  Would you expect those students to be prepared for real life?  Of course not.  And yet, we sometimes expect leadership to be different.  We wish for smooth sailing, not realizing that the very waves we’re navigating are shaping us into stronger captains.
 
Problems are the curriculum of leadership.  Every crisis is a case study.  Every tough conversation is a lesson in emotional intelligence.  Every unexpected setback is an advanced course in resilience.  And just like in school, growth isn’t optional—it’s required.
 
From Frustration to Fuel
Let’s be honest: Problems can be frustrating.  But what if you shifted your mindset?  Instead of seeing problems as interruptions, see them as invitations.  Each one is an opportunity to refine your skills, deepen your wisdom, and lead with greater impact.

Here’s how:

1. Reframe the Challenge – Instead of thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” try asking, “What is this trying to teach me?”
   
2. Lean into Your Why - Remind yourself why you're a leader; why you get up each day; of the positive difference you're trying to make in the world.
3. Lean into Your Values - Who do you really want to be?  How are your personal core values going to guide you through this problem or challenge?
4. Embrace the Process – Success is not the absence of problems but the mastery of problem-solving—and if you don't have a process, find or develop an effective problem-solving process that works for you and gets you better outcomes.
5. Seek Growth, Not Comfort – The best leaders aren’t comfortable; they’re constantly evolving—and true growth and development means facing issues and challenges and getting outside your comfort zone.  It might even mean seeking the input of others. That could even be a leadership development expert and coach.  Hint. Hint.

The Leadership Legacy
 Leaders who make the biggest impact are those who confront challenges with courage, creativity, and a touch of humor.  They don’t shrink from problems; they rise to meet them. 

So the next time you find yourself knee-deep in a leadership mess, take a deep breath, crack a smile, and remember: Success is a problem.  And that’s exactly why you’re the right leader to solve it.

March is Employee Spirit Month and next Friday, March 7 is Employee Appreciation Day.

It's sad, but Gallup found that only one in three employees strongly agree that in the last week they have received recognition or praise for doing good work.  You’d think appreciation would be second nature for leaders. After all, great work deserves recognition, right?  Yet, too many leaders either forget, assume employees “just know” they’re valued, or worse, believe that a paycheck is appreciation enough.  

Spoiler alert: It’s not.

The Hidden Cost of Neglecting Recognition
 Research by Great Place to Work found that the number one driver of great work isn’t money, promotions, or training—it’s recognition.  In fact, 37% of employees said being recognized is what motivates them most.

And here’s where it gets even more interesting: the top three drivers of great work—recognition, self-motivation, and inspiration—are deeply connected.  One of the primary tools of purpose-driven leadership is leveraging team and/or organizational mission, a project's purpose and/or vision, and/or an employee's personal meaning and purpose through—you guessed it--recognition.  It's how you tap into inspiration and someone's self-motivation with recognition.  Employees who see how their work contributes to something bigger are more engaged, self-driven, and innovative.

Leaders who fail to recognize their people don’t just risk losing talent—they risk losing the passion and purpose that fuel high performance.

Excuses, Excuses—Let's Debunk Them
If you’re a leader who struggles with regular recognition, you might have told yourself one of these:

🛑 “I don’t have time.”
✔  You don’t have time NOT to.  A simple ‘thank you’ takes seconds.  A disengaged team takes months to fix.

🛑 “They already know I appreciate them.”
✔  Do they?  A study by Gallup found that employees who feel undervalued are twice as likely to leave.

🛑 “I’ll do it during their performance review.”
✔  Delayed gratitude isn’t gratitude.  It’s a missed opportunity to reinforce great work in the moment.

Quick Wins:  Recognizing with Purpose
Recognition is most powerful when it connects to something meaningful. Here’s how leaders can level up their appreciation game:

• Tie recognition to purpose. Instead of “Great job,” say, “Thank you! Your work on [project] directly supported our mission by [specific impact].” or "Thank you! When you [name the behavior or outcome] it supports our mission by [specific impact]."
• Tie recognition to a value.  Call out connections between behaviors and personal, team, or organizational values.  Say, "When you [name the behavior or outcome] it supports our value of [name the specific value] by [specific impact]."
• Acknowledge self-motivation. Celebrate the effort behind the achievement, not just the result. “I see how much heart you put into this—it makes a difference.”
• Link appreciation to inspiration. Highlight how an employee’s work contributes to the bigger picture. “Your creativity in [task] is pushing us forward in [goal].”

Make Recognition a Leadership Habit
Appreciation isn’t a once-a-year event.  It’s a fundamental leadership behavior and competency. The best leaders integrate recognition into their daily routine—not as a box to check, but as a way to reinforce purpose, motivation, and trust.

So, I’ll ask again: When did you last say ‘thank you’?  If the answer isn’t today, there’s no better time to start.  Don’t just celebrate Employee Appreciation Day—use it as a springboard to build a culture of ongoing recognition.

To help you get started, here are two free resources:
📥 The Benefits of Gratitude
📥 A Leader’s Appreciation & Gratitude in a Crunch