What if one of the most powerful leadership skills wasn't about driving harder, but understanding deeper?

Not decisiveness.
Not authority.

Empathy.

Most leaders believe they’re empathic.  Their teams don’t always agree.  And I'm not talking about the surface-level version—but the kind that directly impacts burnout, performance, retention, and how your people actually experience you as a leader.

A recent systematic review of 42 studies confirms it:  Empathy is consistently linked to measurable, positive outcomes in organizations.

So... What is Empathy?
There are countless definitions.

Here’s mine; shaped by my work with leaders and grounded in formal study and extensive literature reviews:

In practice, that looks like:

• Listening with sincere curiosity (listen to understand, not to respond)
• Seeking to understand their perspective first
• Reading emotions and body language
• Entering another’s world without judgment
• Letting go of your own agenda (even briefly)
• Listening for what’s behind the words
• Reflecting back what you heard
• Taking meaningful, appropriate action

And, yes.  It can be learned.

What the Research Actually Shows
A systematic literature review on empathy in leadership review was recently published in Management Review Quarterly (download study here).  They demonstrate that empathy doesn’t lower standards—it increases the likelihood they’re met. 

Empathy doesn't just matter.  It's a performance driver.

The review identified nine categories of impact from empathic leadership.  Here’s what that means for you:

1.  Positive Emotional Climate & Culture
Leaders who use empathy foster a positive emotional culture at both the team and organizational levels that is characterized by joy, caring for others, pride, and gratitude.  What?  At work?  Yes!

This starts at the level of those you lead, through feedback (both positive and corrective) and how they perceive you. 

Culture isn’t created by values on a wall.  It’s created through moments and experiences.

Empathy shapes how people feel at work.  And those feelings drive engagement, attitude, and discretionary effort.

2.  Lower Turnover
Most exit interviews don’t tell the full story.

People stay where they feel seen.  Empathy—and the emotional culture from above—builds emotional connection where employees see themselves as part of the organization in a meaningful way and sense a stronger sense of belonging to the organization.  And that connection quietly drives retention.

3.  Stronger Performance
This one surprises many leaders.

Empathy doesn’t lower standards—it raises commitment.  When people feel heard and understood, they’re more willing to engage, stretch, and deliver.  

And the even bigger surprise?  Empathic communication has an even greater impact on follower performance in uncertain times or in uncertain industries.  That's something almost every leader could leverage today.

And it's not just individual performance that enhanced.  Empathy also positively impacts team performance—and that's an important part of any company's competitive advantage.

Empathic leaders contribute to higher job satisfaction, which directly influences energy, focus, and consistency.

It also positively impacts your leadership performance and effectiveness (see #8 below). 

4.  Better Relationships
This goes beyond “getting along.”

Empathy creates psychological safety; the foundation for honest conversations, productive conflict, trust, and real collaboration.  It fosters genuineness, effective communication,
comfort with the relationship, and that all facilitates development.

5.  Increased Wellbeing (and Reduced Burnout)
Wellbeing isn’t a perk; it’s a performance variable.

Empathy doesn’t remove pressure, but it changes how pressure is experienced.

When people feel heard and understood, stress becomes more manageable.  Without that understanding, even reasonable demands can feel overwhelming.

And, leader empathy positively impacts both physical (somatic) and mental wellbeing.

6.  Stronger Leader Effectiveness (and How You're Seen)
Here’s the reality:  Your intent doesn’t define your leadership.  Your people’s experience does.

Empathy shifts how you’re perceived: More credible, more trustworthy, more effective.  That's backed by the science.  They don't report this directly, but it seems to me that all of these elements of leader empathy impact your leadership presence. 

7.  Greater Sense of Fairness
Leaders often focus on making the “right” decision.

Empathy ensures people experience it as a fair decision and that you treat people impartially; and that perception drives trust more than policy ever will.  Empathy drives the perception that they are treated with dignity and respect.  

And it's not just about how followers perceive how they and others are treated.  It's also about how they perceive the information you put out and the decisions you make—what is known as informational justice. 

Are you providing even the bad news?  Do you explain the 'why' of your decisions and of those above you?  Do you explain how you realize information and decisions impact them?  Those that do drive a sense of fairness and organizational commitment; that positive culture highlighted above.

8.  More Effective Leadership Practices
Empathy sharpens core leadership skills:

• Communication becomes clearer
• Coaching becomes more relevant
• Conflict becomes more productive
• Ethical leadership practices

It’s not a separate skill.  It’s a force multiplier.

9.  Empathy Itself
When leaders consistently demonstrate empathy, they inspire empathy in others.  It's a positive feedback loop that can extend even beyond your team. 

You create an environment that fosters empathy all around, which loops empathy back to step one and culture.

The Bottom Line
Empathy isn’t soft.  It’s precision leadership.  

It allows you to accurately understand what’s happening beneath the surface and respond in a way that actually moves people forward.

And in a world where many leaders are still guessing…

That precision is a competitive advantage.

One Simple Place to Start
Most leaders don’t struggle with talking.

They struggle with this:

        Listen  →  Silent

That anagram (listen & silent have the same letters) alone can change a conversation... and a relationship.  One step in the effective empathic listening process is silencing yourself—not just your mouth, but your inner voice, thoughts, biases, and judgements.

That alone can change a conversation...  and a relationship.

If you are wondering about the 'how-to' of empathic listening, feel free to download my free Empathic or Active Listening Tool (just click) that I've been using it in personal and leadership development workshops for years.  It's not an end-all, but it hits the most important elements of empathic or active listening.

If you’re seeing any of these challenges on your team, it might be time to strengthen this skill.

There’s a moment—quiet, almost imperceptible—that shows up in our lives far more often than we realize.

It’s the space between stimulus and response.
Between what just happened… and what we choose to do next.

We tend to think of purpose as something grand.
A life mission.  A calling.  A legacy.

And it is.

But purpose is also far more immediate than that.

It lives in the smallest units of our lives: today… and this moment.

Years ago, my wife Leah and I found ourselves in one of those end-of-day, end-of-the-week conversations that had all the makings of going sideways.  You know the kind; fatigue is high, patience is low, and something small begins to escalate.

I could feel it building.

That familiar tightening in the chest.  The subtle pull toward being right rather than being present.  The moment where the evening—and maybe even tomorrow—hangs in the balance.

And then, a question surfaced in my mind: "What’s my purpose in this moment?"

Not “How do I win this?”
Not “How do I prove my point?”

But, "What’s my purpose right now?"

That single question created space.

Space to pause.
Space to choose.
Space to respond instead of react.

And somehow, we found our way to a better place.

Later that evening, sitting outside under the Texas live oaks, Leah turned to me and said, “You’re the most patient man I have ever known.”

Tears filled my eyes.

Because years earlier, a very different version of me would have created a very different outcome.

That’s the power of moment-by-moment purpose.

In purpose-driven leadership, we often begin with three foundational questions:

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?
• Why am I a leader?

These are essential.  They set direction.

But it’s the daily—and even momentary—questions that determine whether we actually live in those answers.

Why was I given today?
Asking ourselves this question every morning invites gratitude, perspective, and intentionality.  It narrows the broader "Why am I here?" to a focal-point on this day, right in front of me.

What's my purpose in this moment?
A question that recalibrates us in real time.

From a neuroscience perspective, these questions do something powerful.  They interrupt automatic patterns driven by the amygdala and re-engage the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for thoughtful decision-making, empathy, and alignment with our values.

In other words, they bring us back to ourselves.

Not the reactive self.
The intentional one.

Leadership, at its core, isn’t built in the big moments we prepare for.

It’s revealed in the small ones we almost miss.

A conversation.
A reaction.
A breath.

And a question.

Because a purpose-driven life isn’t lived someday.

It’s lived today.
And ultimately…
it’s lived one moment at a time.

Burnout isn’t just feeling tired.  It’s a chronic depletion of energy, emotional exhaustion, detachment, and a profound sense of reduced accomplishment.  It’s personal.  So personal that you often can’t articulate it until you’ve lived it.

And today, burnout isn’t just a buzzword.

📊 The State of Burnout in 2025

Recent research shows burnout has reached staggering levels:

• Over two-thirds of American workers--about 66%—report symptoms of burnout in 2025, with younger generations hit hardest!
  
• Healthcare professionals, especially post-pandemic, continue to report elevated burnout, even as some improvement occurs when organizations proactively address wellbeing.
• Organizational stressors like workload, unclear roles, leadership communication, and insufficient support are major drivers of burnout across industries.

Burnout impacts not only individual wellbeing, but also patient safety, quality of care, retention, and organizational performance, especially in healthcare settings where chronic stress is nearly ubiquitous.

📍 Why It Matters—Especially Now

Burnout isn’t a personal failure.  It’s a response to prolonged, unrelenting stress—driven not only by workload, but by:

• Cognitive strain.  The mental effort required to manage fragmented systems, unclear expectations, and decision fatigue.
• Workforce pressures.  Labor shortages and resource constraints intensify stress across roles and industries.
• Cultural norms that glorify busyness and stigmatize rest.

Burnout doesn’t magically disappear with a weekend off.  It requires sustained, intentional strategies at both the individual and organizational level.

🧠 What Research Says About Preventing and Intervening on Burnout

1️⃣ Recognize Burnout Early
Burnout tends to build slowly, emotional exhaustion creeping in, detachment growing, and productivity slipping.  Leaders who normalize open conversations about stress and early warning signs give teams space to act before burnout becomes entrenched.

2️⃣ Build Organizational Systems That Protect Wellbeing
Recent trends emphasize structural solutions over superficial perks:

• Flexible work arrangements (e.g., flexible hours, hybrid options) reduce burnout risk.
• Psychosocial safety and clear roles lower stress and prevent overload.
• Meaningful communication and feedback from supervisors can reduce burnout and build trust.

Workplaces that treat burnout as a systemic issue—not an individual character flaw—see better outcomes.

That shift requires leadership courage.  For executive leaders and HR partners, this reframes burnout from a wellness initiative to a strategic imperative.  It means moving beyond resilience workshops and asking harder questions about expectations, staffing models, decision load, and cultural norms.  HR and senior leaders must co-own the environment they create, because burnout is rarely caused by a lack of grit.  It’s often caused by a lack of structural guardrails.

3️⃣ Invest in Mental Health & Support
Employee access to counseling, coaching, and wellbeing resources matters:

• Wellness programs and mental health days correlate with reduced burnout.
• Mindfulness and emotional regulation practices help individuals manage stress more effectively.
• Leaders trained in emotional support and psychological safety foster resilient teams.

But remember, these are helpful supports, not silver bullets.  They work best when embedded in a culture that genuinely values human wellbeing.

4️⃣ Rethink Work Itself
Burnout isn’t solved by incentives or snacks in the break room.  True prevention involves:

• Work redesign to minimize unnecessary cognitive load.
• Clear expectations and realistic workloads.
• Regular rest, not as an afterthought, but as a strategic element of performance.

In one sense, burnout is the brain telling us something is structurally wrong.  Leaders who listen and act can transform that warning into a turning point.

🧭 A Call to Compassionate Leadership

Burnout isn’t a personal weakness, it’s a professional and human reality we must meet with empathy, intelligence, and systems-level solutions.  Caring leaders don’t just notice burnout, they build environments where it is less likely to take hold.

Whether you’re a frontline clinician, a mid-career manager, or a CEO, burnout touches us all.  And the path through it starts with:

• Valuing dignity over busyness
• Creating systems that respect human limits
• Encouraging meaningful connection and rest
  

If you're a leader and leadership feels heavier, lonelier, or more unforgiving than it used to, this is not your imagination—and it's not a personal failing.

What is failing, quietly and at scale, are many of the assumptions we’ve held about leadership for years.  Recent research isn’t just offering helpful updates.  It’s issuing warnings.

Over the past six months, a series of global studies, academic papers, and large-scale organizational reports have converged on a sobering truth: The way we’ve designed, developed, and supported leaders is no longer keeping pace with reality.  And leaders are paying the price.

Here are five leadership studies that should stop you mid-scroll—and may change how you lead next week.

1. Leaders Are Burning out Faster Than Organizations Can Replace Them
DDI’s 2025 Global Leadership Forecast delivered one of the most alarming data points I’ve seen in years:  Seventy-one percent of leaders report a significant increase in their stress. From the study, "This marks a sharp escalation from 63% in 2022 and signals a critical inflection point for leadership stability."  The primary driver of that stress is time scarcity.  But I don't have to tell you that.  You feel it everyday.

They found that there is a direct correlation between time scarcity and burnout.  When leaders feel they have adequate time, their concerns about burnout decrease.  When you add into the equation that if a leader lacks the information and tools needed to effectively perform their roles  they are twice as likely to be concerned about experiencing burnout.

And 40% of these stressed leaders have seriously considered leaving their roles.  Not someday.  Now.

And we know that purpose is a significant driver of a whole host of metrics including financials, leader effectiveness, engagement, and retention.  The problem is that time scarcity and other factors are driving down frontline leader's sense of purpose.  They report a 20% decline in their sense of purpose compared to last year.  This leads them to report that they are 1.3 times less likely to believe their company makes a positive difference in the world and further adds to burnout.

And yet, a divergence is happening compared to C-suite leaders.  Their sense of purpose has been rising since 2020 with a 4% increase year over year.

This isn’t a workload problem.  It’s a sustainability problem.  Organizations are extracting more emotional labor, decision-making, and availability from leaders while giving them fewer recovery mechanisms.  The leadership role itself is becoming structurally unsafe.

Why this matters:  When leaders burn out, teams don’t just lose a manager.  They lose continuity, trust, and direction.  Burnout at the top quietly cascades downward.

How leaders can leverage this: Leaders who intentionally build reflection, clarity, personal grounding and purpose-driven leadership into how they lead—not just what they do—extend their effectiveness.  Leadership development that strengthens inner capacity, not just external skill, is no longer optional.

2. Trust in Leaders Isn't Declining—It's Collapsing
In 2022, nearly half of employees trusted their immediate manager.  By 2024, that number dropped to 29%.  That is not erosion.  That's free-fall.

And it's not just employees who have falling trust.  Only 32% of leaders expressed trust or confidence in their senior leadership.

Leaders are navigating polarization, fatigue, constant change, and heightened expectations—often without the time or space to process any of it.  The result is communication that feels rushed, reactive, or misaligned.  Trust breaks down not because leaders don’t care, but because people stop feeling seen.

Why this matters:  Trust is the currency of leadership.  Without it, even the best strategies stall.  Engagement dips.  Resistance rises.

How leaders can leverage this:  Leaders who slow down communication, lead with intention, and build relational credibility—especially in moments of stress—create trust even in unstable environments.  These are learnable, coachable behaviors, not personality traits.

3. Forced Return-to-Office Policies Are Costing Leaders More Than They're Gaining
One of the most cited and rigorous organizational studies of the past year was a randomized control trial involving more than 1,600 employees at Trip.com.  The authors found that a hybrid work schedule (three days in office, two remote) did not reduce productivity or career progression, while it significantly cut attrition rates (by about one-third).  The research, published in Nature, tracked performance reviews, job satisfaction scores, and quit rates over six months and found no evidence that hybrid schedules harmed outcomes traditionally tied to in-office work.

The conclusion was blunt:  Mandatory five-day RTO policies did not improve performance, but they did increase turnover risk.

Leaders who insist on fulltime office mandates often point to culture and collaboration as reasons.  But in this study, hybrid arrangements preserved performance and dramatically improved retention, especially among employees with long commutes or those historically more likely to leave.

Follow-up analysis from the NeuroLeadership Institute reinforces the findings.  While physical presence in the office increased with mandates, psychological safety and meaningful connection declined—reminding leaders that proximity is not the same as engagement.  Leaders were left managing disengagement they didn’t create but were expected to fix.

Why this matters:  When leaders are tasked with enforcing policies that contradict how people work best, they become the face of frustration. They risk eroding engagement and losing talent when they mandate full-time presence without evidence of performance benefits.  Productivity isn’t measured by physical proximity, but by output, retention, and psychological safety.

How leaders can leverage this:  Leaders who learn how to foster connection, accountability, purpose and clarity, regardless of location, regain influence.  This requires human-centered leadership skills, presence, empathy, and intentional dialogue—not proximity.

4. "Soft Skills" Are Carrying the Weight of Modern Leadership
Recent research into remote and hybrid leadership uncovered something quietly powerful.  The most effective leaders weren’t the most technologically adept.  They were the most self-aware.

Empathy, reflection, emotional regulation, and intentional communication consistently predicted stronger cohesion and performance.  Leaders who understood themselves were better able to stabilize others.  I present the latest research on self-awareness, leaders, and organizations and how to leverage it in the in-person version of the Purpose-Driven Leadership Program.

Why this matters:  In environments defined by uncertainty, people don’t look to leaders for answers alone. They look for emotional steadiness.

How leaders can leverage this: Developing self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and human-centered leadership capacity allows leaders to show up with clarity and confidence.  These skills can be strengthened through intentional development and coaching—and they compound over time.

5. Organizations Are Hiring the Wrong Leaders for the Moment
A large-scale Harvard Business School study of nearly 5,000 CEOs revealed a costly pattern:  Organizations often hire leaders whose strengths don’t match what the business actually needs right now.

Visionary leaders are placed into stabilization roles.  Operational leaders are asked to drive disruption.  Performance suffers, not because leaders are weak, but because the fit is wrong.

Why this matters:  Leadership effectiveness is contextual.  There is no universally “strong” leader.

How leaders can leverage this:  Leaders who understand their own leadership orientation—and how to adapt it—are far more effective across changing conditions. Self-knowledge becomes strategic advantage.

The Bigger Message Beneath the Data
Taken together, these studies tell a clear story.

Leaders are being asked to be more human, more strategic and purpose-driven, more emotionally intelligent, more technologically fluent, and more resilient—at the very moment many are depleted and under-supported.

This isn’t a failure of effort.  It’s a failure of design.

Leaders who pause to reflect, develop their inner capacity, and lead with intention and purpose will not only survive this moment—they will shape what leadership becomes next.

And that may be the most important leadership work of all.

If you’re feeling the tension these findings describe, you’re not behind—you’re paying attention.  A thoughtful conversation can often clarify the next right step.

𝗗𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗿:
📞 𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹: 346-291-0216
📧 𝗲𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗹: [email protected]
🗓️ Schedule a Confidential Discovery Conversation

January invites leaders to ask a similar question, not just where we’re going, but how we choose to cross into what’s next.

Standing at the Doorway
January is named for Janus, the ancient Roman god often depicted with two faces:  One looking backward, the other forward.  Janus did not preside over a single domain or outcome.  He governed thresholds: Beginnings and endings, past and future, here and there. In short, doorways.
 
The Romans understood something many modern leaders forget:  How you cross from one season to another matters.
 
Leadership, after all, is rarely about standing comfortably in certainty.  It’s far more often about guiding people through the in-between—when what was no longer fits, and what’s next isn’t fully clear.
 
Janus reminds us that the most effective leadership requires both memory and imagination.

A Lesson from the Driver's Seat
When we drive, we don’t fixate on the horizon miles away or at the address to which we're headed on our GPS.  Nor do we stare endlessly into the rearview mirror.  We'd crash if we did.  We focus primarily on what’s right in front of us and alongside us, occasionally glancing back to learn, adjust, and stay oriented.
 
Leaders who spend too much time looking backward risk nostalgia, paralysis, and possibly a crash, of sorts.

Leaders who stare too far ahead for too long risk abstraction and loosing people with disconnection.
 
Effective leadership happens in the present moment, informed by the past and guided by the future—but grounded in the now.
 
Janus would make a terrible driver if he tried to use both faces at once.  His wisdom isn’t about simultaneity, it’s about balance.

Meaning Looks Back.  Purpose  Looks Forward
This is where meaning and purpose enter the conversation.
 
Meaning is drawn from the past.  
It’s shaped by experiences, values, relationships, and moments when something mattered deeply.
 
Purpose grows out of that meaning, but it lives in the present and points toward the future. Purpose answers the question:  Given what has mattered, how will I choose to lead now?
 
The doorway—the Janus space—is where meaning becomes purpose.
 
And leaders who skip that space often struggle to inspire others.

A Personal Threshold
The first time I intentionally led a team through meaning and purpose work was in 1994, in the Texas Hill Country.  I had recently been elected the first and founding president of the Southwest Texas Critical Incident Stress Management Team—a group of volunteers serving first responders across the San Antonio area.
 
No one was paid.  Incentives were nonexistent.  What was present was a shared desire to help others in moments of profound suffering and trauma.
 
I knew that if this team was going to work, we needed something deeper than good intentions.  So, I worked with them to schedule a two-day retreat at the Omega Retreat Center in Boerne, Texas.  Together—fire personnel, EMTs, psychotherapists, and volunteers who barely knew one another—we slowed down.  We listened.  We discovered who we were and what we stood for.
 
Out of that space emerged a shared team mission, vision, and values.
 
Years later, when I left the region, the team presented me with a piece of etched glass bearing that mission—words that still remind me that meaning, once named, has staying power.
 
That experience shaped the work I’ve done ever since.

Why This Matters Now
Today’s leaders are navigating constant change, fatigue, and pressure to “move fast.”  But speed without meaning leads to burnout.  Vision without reflection leads to drift.
 
The most effective leaders I work with—from the frontline to C-suite—know when to pause at the doorway.  They know how to help their teams: 

• Learn from the past without living in it 
  
• Plan for the future without escaping into it 
  
• Lead fully in the present with clarity and purpose 

This is the work of purpose-driven leadership. 

And it’s the work I love partnering with leaders to do.
 
If January has you standing between what was and what’s next, you’re exactly where Janus would want you:  At the threshold.
 
The question is not whether you’ll move forward.

It’s how you’ll lead others through the doorway.

Last week in a workshop, a senior leader paused mid-exercise, looked up at me, and said:

“Alan… I don’t think I’ve ever stopped long enough to ask who I really am or why I’m here.”

That moment hung in the air.  Everyone felt it.

It reminded me how easy it is for leaders, even the most capable, experienced ones, to drift.  Not because they’re careless.  But because the world keeps turning, the inbox keeps filling, and expectations never stop growing.

And yet… here you are.
Still showing up.
Still striving.
Still leading.

Even when you’re tired.
Even when the path isn’t clear.
Even when the demands feel bigger than your capacity.

You are still here.

But presence and purpose are not the same thing.
Many leaders “arrive” each day, but far fewer do so aware, centered, and aligned with who they are and why they do this work.

And that’s the real invitation of leadership—the inside-out work.

Why These Questions Matter
We grew up being asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

But almost no one ever asked:
  Who do you want to be?
  What kind of impact do you want your life to have?
  Why were you put on this earth?

These questions may feel uncomfortable or even indulgent, but they are not.  They are deeply practical leadership questions.

Because when you know your Who and your Why:

• Decision-making becomes clearer
• Priorities align
• Courage grows
• Confidence rockets
• Communication sharpens
• Relationships deepen
• And your leadership resonates with authenticity instead of effort

In a noisy world, clarity is a competitive advantage.  In a turbulent world, purpose is stability.  In a demanding world, alignment is energy.

When You Lose Your Why, You Lose Your Way
Picture a pilot drifting a degree off course.  At first, nothing looks wrong.  But over hundreds of miles, the miss becomes massive.

The same is true for leaders.

Every time you say “yes” too quickly…
Every time you silence your instincts…
Every time you prioritize being busy over being intentional…
The drift grows.

Not because you’re weak, but because you’re human.

The good news?
You can always recenter.
Purpose is renewable.

Start With This
If you pause—truly pause—and ask yourself:

…what rises to the surface?

Here are three prompts to help you start:

1. When am I most alive, energized, or at my best?
   
2. What impact do I hope others would say I made with my life?
3. What values or beliefs feel non-negotiable for me as a leader?

Even five honest minutes with these questions can shift something in you.

No one’s going to force you to ask those tough questions of yourself and answering them takes time and can be uncomfortable.  So, many people choose not to.  To become an exemplary or great leader, however, it is an imperative.  As Drew Dudley wrote in This is Day One:

If You Want Help Doing This Work 
This is the heart of purpose-driven leadership.  It’s why I’ve dedicated my career to this work.

If you’re ready to explore your Who and your Why, or if you feel like you’ve drifted off your intended path, I’d love to support you.  I'm passionate about guiding leaders on that journey, like the senior leader mentioned above.  Sometimes all you need is a guide and a conversation.  

• The Purpose-Driven Leadership Program
  
• One-on-One Coaching
  
• The Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI360)
  
• No-cost Discovery Conversation
  

Whether you’re crystal clear or feeling lost, remember this:
The world needs what only you can bring.
And you’re still here—which means your purpose is too.

It’s spooky season—that time of year when everything from the neighbor’s yard to our inboxes is full of ghosts, ghouls, and people trying to scare us into buying pumpkin spice candles.

But the scariest thing for leaders?
Not monsters.  Not markets.  It’s losing their way.

Because truly effective and impactful leadership—the kind that endures—demands something far rarer than brains or talent.  It takes grit:  That magical blend of passion and perseverance that keeps us moving toward a purpose even when the fog rolls in, the lights flicker, and every shortcut looks tempting.

Psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as the “passion for long-term goals, like loving something and staying in love with it” married with perseverance to long term goals. 

That’s not just poetic, it’s profoundly practical.  Purpose-driven leaders understand this at a deep, soul level.  They’ve found their North Star, and even when the night gets dark, they don’t stop walking.

The Dark Swamp of Despair (and Other Fun Leadership Landmarks)
Duckworth describes what every achiever faces sooner or later: “the dark swamp of despair.”  It’s that place where enthusiasm fades, results lag, and your brilliant initiative starts to look like Frankenstein’s monster, stitched together and stumbling forward mostly out of stubbornness.

Sound familiar?

That’s where grit shows up.

It’s what keeps you practicing, refining, and showing up again when the world says, “Maybe it’s time to move on.”

But here’s the twist:  Grit doesn’t exist in a vacuum.  It feeds on purpose.  Without a sense of “why,” perseverance turns into mere endurance.  And endurance without meaning burns leaders out faster than a jack-o’-lantern left in the Texas sun.

Purpose Is the Fuel; Grit is the Engine
Purpose-driven leadership gives grit its direction.  It transforms hard days into meaningful days and obstacles into opportunities to live out our values.

When leaders reconnect with purpose—whether it’s developing others, serving a community, or shaping a vision larger than themselves—they find the motivation to get back up, again and again.

And when teams see their leader moving forward with conviction and heart, it spreads. Purpose-driven grit is contagious. It’s what turns a group of individuals into a unified force capable of remarkable things — and keeps them inspired long after the novelty wears off.

Your North Star is Still There
So this month, as the nights get longer and the calendar gets busier, take a quiet moment to look up.  Remind yourself why you started.  Name your North Star.  Then, no matter how many ghosts of doubt or goblins of distraction come knocking — keep going.

Because leadership isn’t about never getting lost.  It’s about remembering what you’re walking toward.

Celebrating the end of 64—and the beginning of 65
On September 30, I celebrate what most people call my 64th birthday.  Friends will wish me a happy one, my family will sing to me, and I’ll likely enjoy some cake.  But recently, while watching a video (below) featuring Dot Fisher-Smith, a 96-year-old artist and activist, I realized something powerful:  I’m not just celebrating my 64th birthday, I’m marking the completion of my 64th year and the beginning of my 65th.

Think about it:  When a baby turns "one year old," it's the completion of that first year of life.  But, it's also the beginning of the second year.  Maybe I'm just really  slow, but maybe you haven't quite thought of it this way either.

It’s a subtle shift in perspective, but it really struck me.

This tiny reframing—birthday as “completion day” rather than simply “age marker”—stopped me in my tracks.  I felt both a sense of awe and a deeper appreciation for the years I’ve lived and the possibilities that lie ahead.  And it reminded me:  So much of leadership, growth, and life itself is about perception shifts.

The Power of Perception Shifts
Throughout my life, I’ve experienced dozens of shifts in perception.  Some were sudden and life-altering, like divorce, career changes, or becoming a father again.  Others were gradual, born of research, reflection, or conversations that nudged me to see the world differently.  Still others came through feedback and the sometimes uncomfortable mirror others hold up for us.

These shifts reshaped how I viewed myself, others, beliefs and belief systems, and what was possible.  They were invitations to grow.

Leaders experience this too.  Consider the executive who, after years of doing most of the talking in meetings, suddenly recognizes the power of listening.  Or the manager who, after receiving candid feedback, realizes their “helpfulness” sometimes undermines the autonomy of their team.  Or the professional who sees that the very strength that helped them succeed early in their career is now the barrier to their next level of effectiveness.

In each case, nothing in the external world changed overnight, but their perception did.  And with that shift, behavior and results followed.

Seeking Awe in the Ordinary
Dot and the video’s narrator both speak about “awe” and that's something that really resonates deeply with me.  Awe and wonder are bundled together as one of my core values.  

Awe is that complexity of feelings such as admiration, amazement, astonishment, awakening, bewilderment, feeling small or insignificant, lost in thought, meditative and/or contemplative, or reverence—sometimes all at once—often triggered by the vast and the mysterious.

Wonder is a consequence of awe—when you’re trying to figure out what produced the awe.  It adds a a state of curiosity and a desire to understand.

What’s fascinating is that awe often arises not from extraordinary events, but from ordinary ones seen in a new way, like a birthday.  Think of a sunrise you’ve seen countless times, until one day you pause long enough to notice its colors and textures, and you feel a surge of awe and wonder.  Or the moment you look at a familiar relationship differently and recognize the gift it truly is.

In leadership, awe can come when you realize your influence has rippled farther than you imagined, or when you witness someone you’ve coached achieve a breakthrough.  Sometimes, it arrives when you see your own journey differently, like reframing a birthday as the completion of a year rather than simply the start of another.

Awe, in other words, can be born of perception shifts.

Leading with Perception Shifts
Leaders who actively pursue new information, feedback, and developmental opportunities, position themselves for these kinds of breakthroughs.  They invite shifts in perspective rather than resisting them.  

• Feedback becomes less about criticism and more about clarity.
• Development is not remedial but catalytic.
• Curiosity becomes a superpower, opening doors to perspectives they didn’t know existed.

And when leaders model perception shifts openly, their teams are encouraged to do the same.  Cultures of learning, adaptability, and resilience often grow from leaders willing to say, “I used to see it this way... and now I see it differently.”

The Gift of 65
So, on my birthday, I’ll celebrate more than just 64 candles.  I’ll celebrate the awe that comes from completing another trip around the sun.  I’ll celebrate the perception shifts that got me here.  And I’ll celebrate the invitation to lean into the 65th year of life with wonder, curiosity, and a healthy sense of humor about the whole thing.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in six and a half decades, it’s this:  Life doesn’t stop shifting our perceptions.  And life and leadership doesn’t stop asking us to grow.

Here’s to awe, wonder, and the courage to keep seeing differently.

Watch the video that shifted my perception, 96 Years of WISDOM: The 3 Lessons That Will Make You Feel Awe, here:

Let’s talk about trees.

They’re strong. Tall. Reaching. Majestic. Often symbolic of stability, growth, and legacy. Leaders and leadership teams often want to be like trees—visible, fruitful, and unwavering through the seasons.

But here’s the truth: No tree grows without roots.

And no team thrives without tending to the invisible forces that feed and stabilize it.

That’s where Queen Quet’s wisdom hits home: “You must take care of the root to heal the tree.”

It’s elegant. It’s ancient. And for today’s leaders? It’s urgent.

The  Tree is the Leadership Team
You may be the CEO, the department head, or part of the senior leadership team steering the ship. In this metaphor, you and your peers are the tree. Visible to the organization. Responsible for bearing fruit, providing shelter, and enduring storms.

But if that leadership team is splintered, unclear, or transactional—even if it "looks fine" from the outside—the rot begins below. People feel it before they can name it. Performance suffers. Culture turns brittle. Turnover creeps in. Disengagement festers.

Healing and growth won’t come from pruning branches or repainting bark. It starts at the root.

So, what lives in the roots of a strong, healthy leadership team?

The Anatomy of the Root System
1. Shared Purpose
This is the taproot. Without clarity of why you exist as a team and organization there’s no direction, no cohesion, and certainly no inspiration. And that's not hitting metrics, protecting turf, or profits.  Like Simon Sinek says, "Profit isn’t a purpose, it’s a result. Purpose is the reason we do the thing that makes the profit."  Purpose fuels every other root.

2. Service-Oriented Leadership
The best leaders don’t hoard the sunlight—they become part of the ecosystem. They serve the mission, their people, and each other. When ego eclipses service, rot sets in fast.

3. Gratitude & Recognition
Gratitude isn’t fluff; it’s fertilizer. Teams that consistently recognize one another create psychological nutrients: safety, respect, and resilience. Practicing gratitude is directly tied to happiness and wellbeing.  And yes, this starts at the top.

4. Trust & Psychological Safety
Let’s not kid ourselves. If people around the table aren’t speaking up, pushing back, or showing vulnerability, you’re leading in shallow soil. Safety is silent strength. Trust is the root that lets others grow.

5. Real Relationships
You don’t have to be best friends, but if your relationships are purely transactional, the roots won’t hold. Invest time in knowing each other as humans, not just titles. Roots entangle. That’s what makes them strong. Strong relationships at work boost engagement and all that comes with that.

6. Self-Awareness & Reflection
Leaders who never look in the mirror are the first to point fingers. Healthy teams include people committed to growth—not just professionally, but personally. When leaders reflect, teams renew. True self-awareness doesn't blossom without feedback.  Research demonstrates that those leaders who seek the most feedback are also the most effective leaders.

7. Integrity & Accountability
Alignment between word and deed is a non-negotiable.  When leaders say one thing and do another, they poison the root system.  Like Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner wrote and say, "Before you can walk the talk, you have to clearly know what the talk is."  Get clear on who you are as a a leader, your core values, and the principles you believe in.  Accountability isn’t punitive—it’s a form of nourishment. It's how we learn and grow.

8. A Learning Culture
The best trees are still growing—and it's the same with leadership teams. When curiosity dies, so does innovation. Learning must be baked into your culture, not on the eternal "next fiscal year" cycle. The best leadership teams always have an eye and ear for developing others.

9. Values in Action
You’ve got values? Great. Are they laminated on a wall or lived in the hall? When values show up in behavior, not just branding, the root system deepens and spreads. And let me open your eyes, strong research demonstrated years ago that it's personal core values, not organizational values, that drive things like organizational commitment, performance, satisfaction, and retention. If you want to learn how to help team members identify their personal core values, give me a shout. I've got a fantastic system in my Purpose-Driven Leadership Program.

10. Inclusivity & Diverse Perspectives
Monoculture is fragile. Root systems that are diverse, inclusive, and open to new perspectives are exponentially more adaptive and resilient.

Roots Are Messy.  So Is Leadership
Here’s the hard truth: You don’t get to grow towering, flourishing leadership teams without digging in the dirt. And roots don’t fix themselves.

If your team is burned out, cynical, or more focused on status than service, it’s time to stop patching the leaves and look below the surface. Maybe it's time for real, brave conversations. Maybe it’s time for alignment work, deeper development, or honest reflection about what you're actually cultivating together.

Because you are cultivating something. Whether it’s trust or fear, collaboration or competition, purpose or politics—the soil doesn’t lie. And sooner or later, the fruit (or the lack of it) will reveal the truth.

The good news? Root systems are incredibly resilient when cared for. And when they’re healthy, the whole forest thrives.

So, pause. Dig deep. Ask yourself and your team: What kind of roots are we growing?

Until next time, take care of the root... and watch the whole tree come alive.