MIKOLAJ'S MONTHLY MAUNDER
Insights and inspiration for your leadership journey!
(Mikolaj's Monday Maunder has now become Mikolaj's Monthly Maunder)
MIKOLAJ'S MONTHLY MAUNDER
 Leadership is on everyone's mind today. Prayers for inspired leadership ring out in cities and villages all over the world. More than ever, nations need inspired politicians who win elections because of their vision and integrity. More than ever, business needs ethical leaders who teach us that the heart of business is service. ROBERT HOLDEN No, our opening quote was not a statement about the current political stage. It was written back in 2008 in the brilliant book, Success Intelligence. His words were true then and they still ring true today. This isn't about politics for me and I don't think it is for Dr. Holden, either. It's about great leadership. I'm on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world with great leadership. In pursuit of that recently, I was speaking to a local group of small business owners and sales people. I asked them, "What does increasing your business and profit mean more deeply for you? What deeper and more meaningful purpose does that serve for you?" Some answers were on the lighter side, like 'vacations' and 'more travel.' Others had more depth. Here are some of their answers:
 Each of those leaders have purpose and vision and lead and live with integrity. However, those visions and purposes have probably not been fully identified, clarified, and articulated, yet. That chat exercise was a baby step. I think that for most people, personal purpose, mission, or vision is just kind of down there somewhere; not fully identified, not fully clarified, and mostly unspoken. The same could be said for the bedrock of integrity: Core values. The kind of deep, reflective self-examination needed to fully realize personal and leadership purpose, values, principles, and vision can be challenging. So, many people choose not to. However, to become a great leader, it's an imperative. It is a defining characteristic of a great leader. Leadership without a clear purpose (or if you have one and you’re not using it effectively) will result in wandering or getting off course and becoming subject to shift here and there as different winds blow from wherever they will. And those around you are looking for consistency. They are looking to be inspired. They are looking for someone who is focused and who can lead change effectively. They want more than just a job. They want to show up at a place where they connect to deeper meaning and purpose. Without a clear purpose, leadership philosophy, and core values, you risk not being aligned with higher principles—something else people look for in a great leader. There is passage from the Gospel of Matthew that has inspired me since I was a young child, "You are the light of the world." While Matthew was writing to those that he was trying to inspire to spread the gospel, it can and has inspired in many other ways, too. It can also mean to fully shine and flourish authentically as a person with purpose and love; someone who inspires and uplifts; someone unafraid of accountability both for themselves and others; someone pursuing growth, change, and a vision. Quite simply, it means being the best and truest you. So, ask yourself. As a leader, do you light up the room when you walk in—or when you walk out? What kind of leader do you truly want to be? Be the light. Be the light of the world. What is purpose-driven leadership?
Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page
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 And still I rise. SIMONE BILES It was July 2021 in Tokyo and Simone Biles had a bad case of the "twisties" that caused her to withdraw from most of the rest of the competition. As the Tokyo Games were left behind and critics of Biles began to be overshadowed by the pandemic and other news, Biles took time away from the sport to focus on herself, her business endeavors, and getting married—but most importantly, on her mental health and wellbeing. As she told Vanity Fair earlier this year, “I wish I could sit here and tell you it was glorious... But after 2020, it was kind of depressing until I started therapy and got help. I felt like a failure.” Unless you've been in hibernation the last week and a half, she's made a spectacular comeback on her "redemption tour" with—at the latest count as of today—she has added three more gold medals to her already 32 medals between the Olympics and world championships. She has more opportunities to add to her haul on the final day of gymnastics today in the beam and floor finals. She has lived up to her famous tattoo in our opening quote that was inspired by a Maya Angelou quote. She has not only become the "GOAT" in her sport, but a celebrity advocate for mental health and is celebrated by her athlete-peers and millions around the world. Her story and the stories of her teammates got me thinking and inspired, as it may have you. Below are three leadership lessons we can contemplate from the 2024 US Women's Olympic Gymnastic team.  1) Resilience & Grit: Overcoming Obstacles, Challenges, & Adversity Simone was not the only teammate facing adversity. Just as Suni Lee was rising once again through the ranks of making the US Women's 2024 Olympics team as expected, she was diagnosed with not one but two rare kidney diseases—neither of which are currently curable. After medical treatments and dietary restrictions and as of today, she not only made the US team, she has won one gold and two bronze medals in this year's events. And, that's not even mentioning the multiple stalkers. Talk about resilience and dealing with adversity! Others on the team had their own challenges and ghosts to conquer. The hardships that they had to overcome with resilience and grit earned them the nickname from former artistic gymnast Kathy Johnson Clarke, "The Phoenix Five." Obstacles, challenges, and adversity are no strangers to leaders. How we think about them—our mindset—and what we do about them is critical to successfully navigating them or not. Do we let our fast brain or slow brain be in control? Here are some strategies for greater grit and resilience (the first two come from Angela Duckworth who popularized grit and grit research):
 2) Distributed & Deliberate Practice Every successful person, including elite athletes like the US Women's Olympic Gymnastic team, know the power of distributed and deliberate practice. Distributed practice is a learning technique where practice occurs in multiple short sessions over a long period of time. It has been proven to be the best studying method for effective learning that lasts. It's also known as spaced repetition or spaced practice. Deliberate practice involves constantly pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, following training activities designed by an expert to develop specific abilities, and using feedback to identify weaknesses and work on them. Creating space on our calendars to contemplate and other rituals is a starting point. Intentionally practicing identified leadership skills, behaviors, and competencies and challenging ourselves with new ones, is what this is all about. I wrote more extensively about them both here: Practice Makes Progress.  3) Purpose-Driven Leadership Every single successful person that Stephen Covey interviewed for his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, have it. Every single person Abraham Maslow identified as self-actualized had it. Kouzes and Posner identified that every exemplary leader has it. Research has identified that it positively impacts key leadership metrics such as employee engagement, productivity, retention, wellbeing, and even financials. What is it? Under our leadership rubric, it's purpose-driven leadership. Purpose-driven leadership is that leader who can leverage their own meaning and purpose, the meaning and purpose of others around them, and the meaning and purpose of their team and their organization. The US Women's Olympic Gymnastic Olympic team was laser-focused in on their purpose and what meaning that had for them, their colleagues and other athletes, their family and friends, their fans, the world, and their legacies. They took the time to focus and refocus on their meaning and purpose the more intense the pressure became. If you want to learn more about how you can leverage this fundamental leadership competency, check this out: The Purpose-Driven Leadership Program. Summary This year's US Women's Olympic Gymnastic Olympic team has been particularly inspiring and has powerful lessons for our leadership journeys. The big ones for me are:
What lessons have you learned from them and other Olympic stories? Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  Your thoughts are either faithful servants or tyrannical masters—just as you allow them to be. You have the say about it; take your choice. WILLIAM WALKER ATKINSON As the day drew to a close, my wife Leah and I found ourselves outside, savoring a quiet moment after what could have been a contentious evening. We had just navigated a heated discussion, one of those trivial yet potentially explosive conversations that can easily spiral out of control. Remarkably, we emerged stronger, united in our commitment to each other. Sitting on our balcony, soaking in the beauty of the Texas live oaks, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and gratitude. It was in this serene moment that Leah turned to me and said, “You’re the most patient man I have ever known.” Her words brought tears to my eyes, not out of pride, but out of a deep realization. Ten years ago, my response to such a situation would have been drastically different, marked by impatience and frustration. The change in me was profound, the result of years of dedicated effort in reshaping my thoughts and behaviors. Imagine if our heated discussion had been recorded and analyzed by experts. Some might attribute our positive outcome to conflict management skills or empathic listening techniques. While these tools are valuable, the true catalyst for change was my transformation in thought. The essence of this transformation lies in a simple yet powerful truth: Thoughts become things. This principle is central to my Purpose-Driven Leadership Program and is a cornerstone of effective leadership. As William Atkinson, a notable figure in the New Thought Movement, wisely noted in our opening quote, our thoughts can either serve us or dominate us. Choosing to master our thoughts is the first step toward becoming a more effective leader. In Leveraging the Universe, Mike Dooley asserts, “Your thoughts become things. They always have, and they always will. This is your divine inheritance.” This profound truth took me over forty years to fully grasp, but once I did, my life began to transform. This realization not only improved my personal relationships but also had a significant impact on my professional life and income. To illustrate the power of thought, let’s try a simple experiment. Grab a piece of paper and draw a circle. Seriously, draw a circle. This seemingly trivial act demonstrates a profound truth: Before you drew that circle, you had to decide to do so. This decision, fueled by your thoughts, resulted in a tangible change in the world. The circle, no matter how simple, is a testament to the power of your thoughts becoming reality. Throughout history, great leaders have understood the transformative power of thought. The ability to be aware of our thoughts, to reflect on them, and to choose them deliberately is what psychologists call metacognition. This self-awareness enables us to elevate our consciousness and create new realities for ourselves and those we lead. In his international bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey calls it the Mental First Principle. He explains, “All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.”
self-awareness as the birth of a new world. By becoming aware of our thoughts and choosing them deliberately, we can elevate our leadership and create positive change. Another important piece of this comes from psychology: metacognition. You can think about thinking. We have the evolutionary power to self-reflect on our thoughts, emotions, their patterns, and what they help and don't help create in our lives. This is one of the core message of the Purpose-Driven Leadership Program: To harness the power of our thoughts to become more effective, influential, and fulfilled leaders. As you embark on your leadership journey, remember these three critical elements:
Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  There is not a liberal America and a conservative America—there is the United States of America. There is not a black America and a white America and Latino America and Asian America—there's the United States of America. BARACK OBAMA Happy Independence Day, United States! God bless America! If you found this week's blog inspiring, please share it with your family, friends, and colleagues. Join me on my journey to empower and inspire millions around the globe. I'm on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Together, we can spread words of encouragement, inspiration, empowerment, and loving leadership. Our world could sure use more positivity, meaning and purpose, and lives grounded in values these days—especially in leadership. Together we can make a difference! Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  Don't be afraid to be the hero and the zero. CALVIN MURPHY What does that mean to be "the hero and the zero" and why would Calvin Murphy, a Naismith Basketball Hall of Famer and a Houston Sports Hall of Famer say that? It was this past Thursday on a hot, steamy, post-tropical storm Alberto, southeast Texas afternoon. Business leaders, government officials, and graduates from the Leadership Pearland program excitedly found their seats at the Pearland Chamber of Commerce's 2024 State of Leadership luncheon and graduation. Keynote speakers were none other than Calvin Murphy (quoted above) and Rudy Tomjanovich and moderated by Patti Smith. These are big names in Houston and in sports. Tomjanovich coached the Houston Rockets to back-to-back NBA titles in 1994 and 1995 and was one of the most respected coaches in the game. He is also a Naismith Basketball Hall of Famer and a Houston Sports Hall of Fame inductee. Smith has been a staple in the Houston sports market since 1995, spending more than 20 years with Fox Sports Southwest where she has won multiple Emmy Awards, among other accolades and roles. She is currently the CEO and founding partner at Relevent Worldwide and has been an announcer for the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo since 2011. The Hero and the Zero Murphy was sharing some powerful leadership lessons with our graduating class. While everyone wants to be a hero, it's not intuitive to be courageous when facing being a zero. Murphy was sharing a valuable life and leadership lesson: You are going to fail. Period. So don't be afraid of it. When you're not afraid of being the zero, you don't let the mistakes or failure control you. You control them. Learn everything you can from them, but don't be afraid of them. And when you're afraid of being the zero, you sacrifice your authenticity and miss golden opportunities for making a positive difference in the world. The Tomjanovich Equation (at least that's what I'm calling it) When you include them [your team] = Commitment RUDY TOMJANOVICH Shared Mission, Vision, & Goals When I heard Tomjanovich share this leadership pearl, I thought of The Purpose-Driven Leadership Program and all of the leaders with whom I have shared some version of that. Unfortunately, the leader who can foster and leverage a shared team mission and vision is rare. Kouzes’ and Posner’s research found that when direct reports were asked about the frequency of how often their leader displayed a list of leadership behaviors, those key behaviors that characterize inspiring and leading through a shared team vision—of being forward looking—are consistently rated at the bottom of frequency for the population of leaders at large. Leading through meaning and purpose with a shared team vision is one of the most challenging competencies for most leaders. I can help you with that. Why is it so important for effective leadership? Everyone on your team has hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Everyone wants tomorrow to be better than today. Shared and inspiring visions attract more people, sustain higher levels of motivation, and withstand more challenges than those that are exclusive to only a few and/or dictated from above. You have to make sure that what you can see is also something that they can see. Summary So, the next time you're facing being "the zero," remember Murphy's advice and do whatever it takes to reframe it and find your courage. Don't let it rule you. Rule it. And, remember the power of including your team members in key elements of your mission, vision, strategy, and action-plans. The buy-in and commitment you gain from your team are worth the extra effort since they impact your leadership effectiveness and your outcomes. If you found this week's blog inspiring, please share it with your family, friends, and colleagues. Join me on my journey to empower and inspire millions around the globe. I'm on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Together, we can spread words of encouragement, inspiration, empowerment, and loving leadership. Our world could sure use more positivity, meaning and purpose, and lives grounded in values these days—especially in leadership. Together we can make a difference! Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  Da Boys & Daddy this morning. Many blessings to all of the fathers! When I was around 16 years old and had been acting particularly ornery, I found this prayer on my dresser when I got home from school. My father was a man of few words, however this prayer has resonated with me my whole life. It leads my book, A Travel Guide to Leadership, and I hope his wisdom blesses your day. Rest in peace, Benjamin Abraham Mikolaj. A Father's Prayer Circa 1978 Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, BENJAMIN ABRAHAM MIKOLAJ Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Alan is on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  Keep in mind that the essence of being a human being is to be able to create something. ROBERT HARGROVE Creating something is inherently rewarding. Whether it's a meal, a clean house, a customer experience, a powerful lesson plan, a high-performing team, or a meaningful relationship; humans love to create. When we collaborate, we achieve extraordinary things. But what about your state of being? Your state of being drives your choices and actions, it affects your physiology, and creates your habits—all for better or worse. Over time, this cumulative effect shapes who you become. Reflect on your current life situation—your health, education, job, residence, relationships, and spirituality. All of these aspects are influenced by your past thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and decisions. Your state of being defines who you are as a leader and as a person. Often, we operate on 'default' or automatic mode—what Daniel Kahneman calls the fast mind. When we are guided by old programming, thought patterns, stereotypes, and emotions, they may not serve us or others effectively and might even be doing damage. In our post-pandemic, fast-paced business world, effective leadership is more crucial than ever. Consider the recent shift towards remote and hybrid work and the rise of artificial intelligence in decision-making and other processes. Leaders at companies like Google and Microsoft have had to adapt rapidly, creating new cultures and strategies to navigate these changes. It's a reminder that effective leadership starts with a strong foundation within. In The Purpose-Driven Leadership Program, I share powerful strategies to help you create the state of being you desire and then leverage that in your leadership. Professional coaching is another strategy strong leaders use to identify their current state of being, clarify the future state of being they desire, and then discover strategies and action-steps to move in that direction so they can become the best person and leader they dream of being. Instead of asking, “What do I do?” start by asking, "Who do I want to be?" and "How do I become the kind of person who can lead in these challenging times?" While your creations in various roles at work, home, and elsewhere are important, who you are—your state of being—determines the quality of your creations. So, first, create something more fundamental: Create you. If you found this week's blog inspiring, please share it with your family, friends, and colleagues. Join me on my journey to empower and inspire millions around the globe. I'm on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Together, we can spread words of encouragement, inspiration, empowerment, and loving leadership. Our world could sure use more positivity, meaning and purpose, and lives grounded in values these days—especially in leadership. Together we can make a difference! Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Alan is on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy, forget in time that men have died to win them. FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT Today is one of those solemn holidays when we should each pause for a moment and remember and honor all of the service members and veterans who died while in service to the United States during peace and war. While springtime tributes known as Decoration Day for fallen military began not long after the Civil War, Memorial Day did not become an official federal holiday until 1971. National Moment of Remembrance Many people are not aware that in 2000, a resolution was passed and President Bill Clinton issued the National Moment of Remembrance memorandum which asks that at 3 PM local time, for all Americans "to remember and reflect on the sacrifices made by so many to provide freedom for all"—something more of us should do in these volatile political times and when so many are positing views so antithetical to our fallen heroes, national values, and hard-fought democracy. Why are red poppies worn on Memorial Day? Another custom many people are not aware of is the wearing of red poppies. The red poppy became a symbol of veteran sacrifice during WW1 when a soldier and Canadian surgeon, Lt. Colonel John McCrae, wrote the poem, In Flanders Field. It opens: In Flanders fields the poppies blow Then, in 1918 Moina Michael wrote a tribute poem to honor McCrae's original and was inspired to make the red poppy a symbol for remembering WWI's fallen soldiers. One line from her poem, We Shall Keep the Faith, reads: We cherish, too, the poppy red If you want to learn more about the history of poppies and Memorial Day, I highly recommend Cassandra Crosby's article, The Significance of Poppies. How many have sacrificed? The US military has recorded nearly 1.3M battle and non-combat deaths from 1775-2022. They died in service of our nation and our Constitution honoring a sacred oath. I took that oath to defend our Constitution in 1983 when I served as a Combat Medic/Practical Nurse in the US Army: I, _______, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God. Today, let us not only honor those who died in service of the United States, but what they defended for us: Our Constitution, our values, and our freedoms and rights. God bless the United States our service members! This nation will remain the land of the free only as long as it is home of the brave. ELMER DAVIS Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Alan is on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  To excel at the highest level—or any level, really—you need to believe in yourself, and hands down, one of the biggest contributors to my self-confidence has been private coaching. STEPHEN CURRY Professional Basketball Point Guard for the Golden State Warriors As International Coaching Week comes to a close, I wanted to put a focus on coaching. There are many myths and misperceptions about coaching. In this week's blog, I will walk you through five of them. But first, what is coaching? The International Coaching Federation or ICF is the world's leading organization for coaches and coaching. The ICF is dedicated to advancing the coaching profession by setting high standards, providing independent certification, and building a worldwide network of trained coaching professionals. I hold my Associate Certified Coaches (ACC) credential with the ICF. The following is how the ICF defines coaching: Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership. We all have goals we want to reach, challenges we’re striving to overcome, and times when we feel stuck. Partnering with a coach can change your life, setting you on a path to greater personal and professional fulfillment and success. So walk with me for just a couple of minutes and explore five myths about coaching. MYTH #1: Coaching is only for people with a problem(s). Journalist and communications expert, Abigail Pickus, had this to say about coaching, "Who, exactly, seeks out a coach? If you ask a coach the answer is usually the same: Winners who want even more out of life." That echoes what Stephen Curry said in our opening quote. Most of my clients are either relatively successful compared to other leaders or very successful leaders who are either focusing on a specific Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) or a project and/or are seeking to develop or even transform their leadership and their life. In one organization where I used to internally coach leaders, our HR department had an unofficial policy that our coaching services were not to be used for remedial purposes and/or for any leader on a PIP or whose last performance review was less than a 'meets expectations.' They simply didn't want to waste the valuable resource of an experienced coach on someone with a high risk of departing the organization. But that doesn't mean that those types of individuals or even those with problems won't benefit from coaching. They absolutely will. Some people partner with me for a shorter time to specifically focus on a distinct problem or challenge. As the ICF states in the definition above, the goal of coaching is to "maximize their personal and professional potential." MYTH #2: Coaching is really expensive. Compare the cost of a training course or leadership development program. One or two-day workshops can run as low as around $300 to some well over $3000. Full-blown leadership development programs can run from $1500 to some running over $15K or even more. There may be travel, hotel, and meal expenses. If you're enrolling in something internally, when you factor in the costs of the facilitator's salary and benefits and the time it took to develop and deliver the content, the costs can be even higher. A coach only bills for actual coaching hours and there's almost never any travel expenses since most coaching is done virtually, these days. Both training and coaching are valuable when matched to meet the needs of people. You can even engage with both at the same time adding a catalyst effect for both. Coaching is an excellent investment. But what's the ROI? According to the 2009 ICF Global Coaching Client Study :
The iPEC report mentioned above states that figures of between 500% and 700% commonly reported as being a reliable ROI for executive coaching. And who you hire matters. It's like anything else you buy or anything else you invest in: You get what you pay for. Certified coaches with experience and higher education, especially for leadership and executive coaching, are simply going to require a slightly larger investment. It's hard to put a value on years of coaching experience, years of study and continuing education, and other professional and life experience. Coaching is an investment in your leadership and yourself. One of the key differences about coaching and some other offerings you get as a leader, is that what you learn and take-away from coaching will last you a lifetime.  MYTH #3: Coaching is the same as consulting, training, therapy, or mentoring. On my webpage, More About Coaching With Alan, I share two short videos that are also on my YouTube channel:
In the first video, I not only answer what coaching is, I distinguish it from what coaching is not using the above graphic. Coaching is distinctly different from either consulting, training, therapy, and mentoring. The second video then walks through the process of coaching and after watching them both, you will see how different coaching is from any other professional service. Finally, if you're interested in learning what coaching would be like with me, feel free to watch my introduction video as a coach: A Message from Alan MYTH #4: Coaches will just give me advice and have all the answers and/or will set the agenda or present a coaching program to me. This might actually be true for coaches not certified through the ICF. However, a coach certified through the ICF takes a pledge to the ICF Code of Ethics and Standards of Behavior. One of the key elements of ICF coaching that sets it apart from other professional services and other types of "coaching," is that the coach does not give advice or set the agenda. A strong ICF certified coach partners with you in a way that let's you establish your overall coaching plan, goals, and how you want to measure success. In other words, you are in the driver's seat. The focus is 100% on empowering you! MYTH #5: Coaching is only for senior leaders or executives. Coaching is for anyone and everyone. Period. While my primary clients are leaders, I have coached many clients who are not. Some of my clients have been what are termed accidental managers. But I have coached people from all walks of life and from all levels of management and leadership, including those on the frontline and those in the C-suite. In a blog just a few weeks ago, Values & Purpose (Still) Matter, I wrote about a surprising finding from a 2019 study: It is middle managers and professionals who drive meaning and purpose at work and the greater financial gains that high purpose-clarity organizations have over other companies. It makes sense that these middle managers and professionals could add significantly more to the equation with coaching and targeted development. Concluding Thoughts Coaching is a powerful tool for anyone seeking to enhance performance and development and amplify their personal and/or professional effectiveness. You can use it to discover strengths, build resiliency, develop skills and discover strategies to leverage them. Coaching builds awareness, empowers you to be in the driver's seat, and leads to positive change. And yes, it can empower you to overcome problems and tackle challenges through revelations, strategies, and actions yet to be discovered and leveraged. Maximize your potential with coaching. Discover new ways to flourish and become your best self! To learn more about coaching with me, visit my Coaching With Alan webpage. Finally, I want to share a short reflection video I created for those who may be considering coaching. It's also on my Coaching With Alan webpage and YouTube channel. The Road Sign
Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Alan is on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page  Changing what you have, Alan, comes from changing who you are. THE UNIVERSE (aka Mike Dooley) ©www.tut.com I started receiving Mike Dooley's Notes from the Universe sometime in the very early 2000s. I received the above note back in early April and saved it in my Inbox until now. I've re-read it several times over the past month and I wanted to share it with you—and also to encourage you to join the over 1.2M people who receive The Notes every weekday all around the world. And while I do agree with Mike that the essence of changing what you have and who you are begins with your thoughts, sometimes changing some, or even most, of them can be quite challenging. The Challenge with Changing Thoughts Thoughts are comprised of internal physical and emotional perceptions and external physical perceptions (from the five senses) coming from the environment that form into cognitions, ideas, judgements, opinions, beliefs, and even our perspectives. When we think certain thoughts over and over again, we form longer-lasting thoughts we call attitudes. Add in automatic thoughts, thought-patterns, habits, beliefs, and biases, and I think you can see why I think there might be an ease<—>challenging continuum to changing our thoughts. And, did you know that almost every thought we have is formed automatically and out of awareness? Nikolas Dimitriadis and Alexandros Psychogios report in their book, Neuroscience for Leaders: A brain-adaptive leadership approach, that neuroscientific and psychological research has estimated that only 1-2% of total brain activity is at any level of conscious awareness—what psychology calls controlled processing. That means that a whopping 98-99% of brain activity is completely automatic processing—or what old-school psychology used to call unconscious. The science also reveals that 95% of our decisions are automatic! One example is renowned Harvard Business School Professor of Business Administration Gerald Zaltman's findings. He said, "However, in consumers’ purchasing choices, 95 percent of the decision-making process takes place below the conscious level." There's evidence that the gut microbiome affects thoughts, with psychologists and neuroscientist now calling that the gut-brain axis. Our physical state of being can drive emotions and thoughts, too. Ever been really hangry? Or sleep-deprived for several days in a row? But we do know that emotions can drive thoughts and thoughts can drive emotions and that emotions are the biggest driver of behavior. So, the cognitive-emotive connection must be considered if we want any meaningful change. So, for some of us, if not for all of us, changing at least some or maybe even most of our thoughts could be quite challenging. But not impossible by any stretch! Dr. Wayne Dyer has a bestselling book by the name, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life and there are countless books, blogs, and articles about how that is true. It does, however, take practice—distributed and deliberate practice, to be specific. And that kind of practice takes self-awareness, self-examination, and a new alertness to your environment and how you interact with it. It might even be helpful to get some feedback from others close to you for additional perspective. But when you identify what thoughts, feelings, perspectives, attitudes, or automatic thoughts you want to change, it's most likely going to take some practice. We have to think about thinking or what's called metacognition. Distributed Practice Distributed practice is a learning technique where practice occurs in multiple short sessions over a long period of time. It has been proven to be the best studying method for effective learning that lasts. It's also known as spaced repetition or spaced practice. Cognitive scientists and educational researchers and practitioners have long known that if your goal is to get information into long-term memory and have it available to you in both predictable and novel situations and environments, then spacing review and reflection of that information and practicing it repeatedly over time are the most effective way to achieve that. As a single footstep will not make a path on earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. HENRY DAVID THOREAU  Deliberate Practice Deliberate practice is a little different. Remember Malcolm Gladwell 's 10,000-Hour Rule? He popularized it in his book Outliers: The Story of Success. Gladwell’s catchy rule contends that it takes ten-thousand hours of practice to become a master in most fields. However, the authors behind the original research study on which Gladwell primarily based his figures claim that his interpretation wasn't actually accurate. The study reported on a group of violin students at a prestigious music academy in Berlin. They found that the most accomplished of those students had put in an average of ten thousand hours of practice by the time they were twenty years old. First, they were students and not even close to being masters. Second, that figure is the average number of hours of practice for the best students at twenty years old. This means that the average best student was ahead of about half of the other best students, but still behind the upper half (in terms of practice hours put in over their lifetime up to that point). Most importantly, what the authors actually describe and point out is that the students had been engaging in what is known as deliberate practice. Deliberate practice involves constantly pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, following training activities designed by an expert to develop specific abilities, and using feedback to identify weaknesses and work on them. Once someone puts in the hours and hours of repetition to become proficient in rote skills like hand placement and scales by distributed practice, deliberate practice practice sessions are integrated into their practice regimen challenging the student to go to new levels.  Schedule It! So, if we're trying to change our thoughts in order to change what we do in order to get what we want, we're probably looking at altering something or some things in our morning, daily, evening, and nightly routines and rituals. We may decide that we need to have study time or use tools, like positive affirmations, To-Do List apps, and other strategies, that we repeat on a regular basis. We may need to get creative and/or read up a little about what we really want to change or take a course or enroll in a developmental program. We may decide we want to engage with a professional, like a therapist or a coach. All GOATs, like a Tom Brady, have a coach or coaches to help them grow, change, and develop new thoughts, behaviors, rituals, and practices. Coaching is for winners who want to get better and stay ahead of their rivals or competition and/or so they can continue pursuing even higher levels of impact and success. Whatever tools and/or strategies we choose, it is important to schedule both distributed and deliberate practice in our calendars and/or set reminders to practice new behaviors, conduct thought-reflections, contemplate, say affirmations, visualizing, and practice routines and rituals. Some may simply need to be scheduled temporarily until strong habits are formed and others we may need to block out on a more permanent basis. Conclusion Changing thoughts—especially automatic thoughts—thought-patterns, attitudes, habits, and the like, can be challenging. It takes self-awareness and metacognition. And, it takes practice—first, distributed practice and then, adding deliberate practice which will need repetition, too. You can learn more about distributed and deliberate practice (and so much more!) in my Purpose-Driven Leadership Program. Finally, using our calendars and reminders and other To-Do List tools can greatly boosts our chances of success. Have an amazing journey today! Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience. He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations. He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results. Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality. You can learn more about them on the ICF website. Transformational change starts with a conversation! Alan is on a mission to partner with like-minded leaders who want to make a positive difference in the world. Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan Or call or email: Contact Page |
Alan Mikolaj
Alan Mikolaj is a a professional, experienced, positive, and passionate speaker, leadership and organizational development consultant, change agent, author, and coach. He holds his Master of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology from Sam Houston State University. He is a certified graduate coach from Coaching Out of the Box and holds his ACC and membership with the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Free Discovery Conversation!
Impactful change starts with a conversation! Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan
Or call or email: Contact Page 
In his third book, A Travel Guide to Leadership, Alan offers you simple, fundamental, and powerful lessons that have the power to transform you, your relationships, and your career.
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