Inspiration and lessons for your leadership journey!
“Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
~ don Miguel Ruiz ~
One of my secret angel guides to my new book and a New Millennial Leader, Wes Hopper, reminded me through one of his Daily Gratitude posts that I had been meaning to buy don Miguel Ruiz’s bestseller, The Four Agreements. I finally bought it this past weekend. The opening quote from him is quite famous, and apparently, is central to his teachings. I can’t wait to start reading.
What he is trying to tell us is that everyone is walking around leading their life, telling their story, and doing their thing. Whether you are confronted with an angry customer, a disobedient child, a disgruntled direct report, a tardy, problem-student, or insensitive leadership – what they are doing is not about you. It’s about them. They are acting from their story and experience. Like I’ve told my beautiful teacher-wife, Leah, “A problem child is a child with a problem.” It’s not about you personally.
When you can recognize that, you separate yourself from the negative emotions and energy associated with whatever they’re doing and you can now become empathic and reasonable. You can also more clearly focus on what your best response is to the situation.
You might find that listening to them helps. Maybe simply naming the negative behavior is the best course toward resolution or de-escalation. Or, you might discover that the best thing for you to do is to separate yourself or the other person from the situation.
The bottom line is that we don’t have to get sucked into the negative emotions, energy, and behaviors of others – you can now tap into your higher power as a leader and make a better choice on how to respond. Respond from your power – the power of love and gratitude. Love isn’t always a bed of roses. We’ve all heard of “tough love.” Sometimes, setting and enforcing the rules or restraining or separating from destructive behavior is the loving thing to do – you just choose to do it from a place of love, rather than punishment, anger, or revenge.
Keep in mind, this week, that whatever other people are doing, it is because of themselves.
(Repeat these quietly to yourself multiple times throughout the day.)
I recognize that what other people do is because of themselves.
I separate myself from other people’s negative emotions, energy, and behavior.
I focus on what my best and loving response is.
Sometimes, my best and loving response is tough love.
I am a loving leader!
Have an amazing journey today!
Alan Mikolaj is a a professional, experienced, positive, and passionate speaker, leadership and organizational development consultant, change agent, author, and coach. He holds his Master of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology from Sam Houston State University. He is a certified graduate coach from Coaching Out of the Box and holds his ACC and membership with the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
Free Discovery Conversation!
Impactful change starts with a conversation! Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan
Or call or email: Contact Page
In his third book, A Travel Guide to Leadership, Alan offers you simple, fundamental, and powerful lessons that have the power to transform you, your relationships, and your career.