You Are Still Here

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You are still here.
OPRAH WINFREY

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Look closely at the photograph accompanying this post.  Headstones.  A graveyard.  Names and dates marking lives that once were.  It may seem like an odd image with which to begin a conversation about leadership.  But perhaps it is exactly the right one.

One of the oldest philosophical practices is memento mori—Latin for “remember you must die.”  The ancient Stoics used it as a reminder of life's impermanence and the preciousness of the time we have.

Buddhist traditions have a similar practice called maranasati, or a death awareness meditation or contemplative exercise.  Christian traditions have their own contemplative practices surrounding mortality.  Today, therapists and others sometimes encourage people to contemplate their mortality, even writing their own eulogy or obituary.

Different traditions. Different language.

Much the same invitation:  Remember that your time is finite.

That's not exactly a cheerful thought, is it?

Yet contemplating our mortality may be one of the most powerful ways to become more fully alive—and more intentional about how we lead.  Stephen R. Covey famously encouraged us to “begin with the end in mind.”  We readily apply that principle to strategic planning, goals, and organizational initiatives.

But what if we took it literally?  What if we actually contemplated the end?

• What would we want to have mattered?
• Who would we want to have loved well?
• What would we want people to say about the way we led?
• What would we wish we had done differently?

And perhaps the most important question:  What are we doing with the time we have left?

These are not merely philosophical questions.  They are leadership questions.  Because leadership is ultimately about choices—how we use our time, our influence, our talents, our relationships, and the opportunities entrusted to us.  And when we become more clear about what we want our lives to mean, we become better equipped to make those choices intentionally.

This is why I incorporate a contemplation exercise called 'The Conclusion' into my Purpose-Driven Leadership Program.  Adapted from Anthony de Mello's Wellsprings: A Book of Spiritual Exercises, the exercise invites participants to consider their lives from the perspective of the end.

It can be uncomfortable.  But discomfort can be useful.  When we look backward from the end, the things that seemed so urgent often aren't.  The things we thought were important may suddenly look rather small.  And the things we postponed—relationships, courage, purpose, meaningful work, words left unsaid—can become much larger.  That is where memento mori becomes more than a meditation or contemplative exercise on mortality.  It becomes a tool for discovering what matters.

And that discovery is at the heart of purpose-driven leadership.

After The Conclusion and other exercises, I ask participants to take what they've uncovered and begin putting words around it into a Life Mission & Leadership Philosophy Statement.

• Who am I?
• Why am I here? 
• Who do I aspire to be as a person?
• Why am I a leader?
• How should I lead?
• Who am I when I’m at my leadership best?
• What do I want people to experience because I was here?
• What do I want my life to contribute?

The statement isn't meant to become another document gathering dust in a drawer.  It's meant to become a compass.  Because once we know where we want to go, we can make better decisions about where to spend our finite time and energy.  That's the paradox of memento mori:  Remembering that you will die can help you remember how to live.

And if you're a leader, it can help you remember how you want to lead.

The headstones remind us that every life eventually has a conclusion.  But yours hasn't been written yet.

You are still here.

Still breathing.
Still choosing.
Still becoming.
Still capable of loving, serving, leading, changing, and making a difference.

You still have time to make the call.  To repair the relationship.  To change the direction.  
To use your influence differently.  To become the leader—and the person—you've intended to become.

So perhaps the question isn't simply, “What will my legacy be?”

Perhaps it is:  “What am I going to do with the time I have left?”

That's the gift hidden inside memento mori.

It reminds us that our time is limited.  And because it is limited, it matters.

Every day matters.

Every choice matters.

Every person we influence matters.

Every opportunity to live our purpose matters.

Memento mori.  Remember you must die.

Not so you can spend your life thinking about death—but so you don't forget to live on purpose.

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Have an amazing journey today!

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Alan Mikolaj is an author, seasoned coach, and leadership development consultant with over 20 years of experience.  He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations.  He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results.

Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality.  You can learn more about them on the ICF website.

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