Are You Tied by Invisible Ropes?

Neuroscience, Beliefs, and Leadership

Taking charge of yourself begins with awareness.

WAYNE DYER

Leadership begins long before strategic plans are drawn or decisions are made.  It begins in a place far less obvious, deep inside the wiring of our brains.

As leaders, we often assume our decisions are made through careful, deliberate thought.  Yet, neuroscience paints a different, and humbling, picture.  Research shows that 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 1–2% of our brain activity is conscious.  The other 98–99% runs automatically—𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.  A full 95% 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 are automatic and unconscious!  This shapes everything from what we notice, to what we believe, to how we lead.

Nikolas Dimitriadis and Alexandros Psychogios put it bluntly in their book, 𝘕𝘦𝘶𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴: 𝘈 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯-𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩 (emphasis added):

Automatic brain responses to real-world situations 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢 rather than the exception in our everyday lives.

In leadership, that reality has enormous consequences.

The Silent Force Driving Decisions
Imagine trying to lead a team while piloting an aircraft you can only control 1-2 % of the time.  That's leadership without self-awareness.

The brain evolved first for survival, not thoughtful decision-making.  It prioritizes speed and efficiency over complex reflection.  While this was perfect for escaping predators, today it often leads to leaders reacting out of habit rather than responding thoughtfully to challenges.

Consider this:

• The conscious brain processes about 40–2,000 bits of information per second.
• The automatic (unconscious) brain processes up to 𝟮𝟬 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 and does it 500,000 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 !

In short, the autopilot is not just on—it’s dominant.

Here's a short story or fable that illustrates just how powerful unconscious beliefs, excuses, and assumptions can be.

---

The Elephant Story
As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg.  No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

“Well,” the trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them.  As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away.  They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed.  These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Leaders are no different.
Many of the habits, assumptions, and limitations shaping our leadership today were formed years, sometimes decades ago.  Left unexamined, these invisible 'ropes' quietly determine how we approach decisions, risks, relationships, feedback, innovation, and growth.

The real tragedy?  The elephant’s limitations are no longer real.  Neither are many of ours.

Three Way Leaders Can Reclaim the Brain
Awareness is not a luxury in leadership — it’s a necessity.  Here are three powerful ways to start taking back the reins from autopilot:

1. Slow Down the Moment
Before reacting, especially under stress, pause.  A single deep breath can create the space to move from reflexive reaction to conscious choice. 

A gap exists between all stimuli and all responses.  Expand that gap by giving yourself space to choose.  Take a short timeout, take that deep breath, and ask yourself, "What's my purpose in this moment?"  True authentic leadership is expressed one decision at a time. 

Sometimes, there is only enough time for a deep breath.  Other times that 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 be different—so take advantage of that to elevate your leadership.  When appropriate, you can even excuse yourself for a timeout and reset any automatic self-defeating thoughts, assumptions, excuses, or beliefs.  This greatly increases the chances of responding more authentically and effectively and with greater clarity of meaning and purpose.

2. Question the Old Ropes
Ask yourself: "Is this belief serving me today?"  Many leadership habits were once survival strategies.  Today, they may be outdated.  Courageously challenge assumptions that limit your effectiveness or authenticity. 

Wayne Dyer used to say that when confronting excuses or old beliefs and assumptions to ask yourself, "Is this 100% true?"  Of course, no excuse, belief, or assumption is.  Not necessarily being true is what makes it an excuse, belief, or assumption.  So if it could be true or not true, ask yourself, "What's the opposite of this excuse, belief, or assumption?"  Which of those two thoughts will best serve you?  Which will help you to get you closer to  your goal or objective?

For example, Brian is facing giving one of his direct reports, Jeremy, some needed critical feedback.  He thinks that Jeremy is going to be resistant, negative, and closed-off.  As he prepares for this conversation, he asks himself, "What's the opposite of these assumptions?"  That Jeremy is not resistant, negative, or closed-off.  And even if he's somewhat of any of those, maybe he has some good reasons for that.

Now which set of assumptions sets Brian up for a more effective, authentic, and successful conversation?  Which set of assumptions would Jeremy respond best to?  There's no guarantee, but at least he's in a much better mindset with the latter as he prepares for and engages in that conversation.  He might start by being more curious and asking questions rather than jumping right into the critical feedback.

3. Train the Brain
Awareness is like a muscle — it strengthens with use.  Simple practices like daily reflection, mindful pauses, or journaling about decisions can rewire the brain toward greater conscious leadership over time.

One of the quickest and most powerful strategies I've discovered is the Book-end Your Day ritual.  In the morning, review your Life Mission/Leadership Philosophy statement—even if it's just one or two elements of it, like a particular core value or leadership principle.  Ask yourself, "How am I going to show up with that and live that today?"  It only takes a few moments—and it's free.

Then right before you go to bed, review it again.  This time ask yourself, "What are three times I lived my Life Mission/Leadership Philosophy well today?  What's one time I didn't and what can I learn from that?"  I know leaders who journal this so they can go back at some point in the future to reflect and relearn some old lessons.

Your Leadership Journey Starts Here
If leadership is at its heart a thinking act, then thinking about your thinking—metacognition—is leadership at its finest.  This month, I encourage you to notice where your own autopilot kicks in.  Challenge an old rope.  Choose a new response.

Each small act of awareness is a giant step towards the leader you’re meant to be.

---

Have an amazing journey today!

---

Alan Mikolaj is a seasoned coach and leadership development consultant with nearly 20 years of experience.  He is passionate about helping leaders transform their leadership, their teams, and their organizations.  He has an impactful, professional approach driven by a passion for meaning and purpose, a growth mindset, and a commitment to excellence and service in order to drive change and results.

Alan holds his Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and maintains their ethics and standards of behavior, including the standards regarding confidentiality.  You can learn more about them on the ICF website.

Transformational change starts with a conversation!
Schedule your free, one-hour session by clicking here: Discovery Conversation with Alan
Or call or email: Contact Page

---